One of my agents ended up withdrawing a listing a couple of days ago, for a number of reasons. During 
their email correspondence, which I later had a chance to read, the seller used the quote you see in the title of this post.
I have NEVER had a client tell me that I should have pushed them harder, so this came as a surprise to me. I guess I felt that this was worth writing about, since it illustrates an interesting point about real estate sales (and sales in general, for that matter).
There are times when it simply makes sense to push a client, most commonly when they are having trouble making the right decision. This is not an easy task, especially for newer agents, but it is a necessity if you want to make real estate a long-term career.
A few years ago, I helped some buyers from California to move to this area. Their original budget was $160,000 or so, but the home they fell in love with was a little higher, at $172,000. Let me preface this story by saying that I strictly honored their price range - they drove by the more expensive place and HAD to see it.
When the time came to make a firm decision, the husband was hung up on the higher price. Here's the conversation that followed (and this is pretty much verbatim):
CLIENT: I don't know, Jason. It's more than we wanted to spend, and I don't even have a job there in Austin yet.
ME: I realize that, but you're buying this house with cash from your current home sale. You are going to have enough money to buy two new cars, also with cash. You just have to cover the taxes and insurance on this place. Frankly, you could get a job flipping burgers at McDonald's and handle that.
They bought the house, and they are still living there today.
Don't be afraid to "push back" when your clients are being foolish.
It's your job to represent their interests to the best of your ability. Part of that involves pointing out when they are wrong.
Much of the pre-licensing education in our industry is focused heavily on the liabilities that we face as Realtors. I remember thinking that the classes should all be called "1001 Ways to Avoid Being Sued". While this is not all that inaccurate in our litigious society, I think a lot of agents are afraid to speak their mind, even though the client needs direction.
Give your client real help and real opinions. This doesn't mean that you have to guarantee appreciation, or tell half-truths, or overlook potential problems. YOU are the professional. YOU are the one who does this every day. They need your help.
Thanks for reading!
Photo by Joseph Robertson via Flickr.com.
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It's not in my nature to push clients. I nudge... gently, but I save the real pushing for my family.
Maybe I should have pushed a little harder when my Seller decided to let the Buyers on her home walk away because of a $5K difference. It was a cash deal, could have closed quick, etc. That house in this market and it's condition...I doubt we'll get a better deal.
I hardly ever fail to "push" them. However, going above their budget is one area I stay out of. I mention pretty much what you do, though. Sometimes, you really have to open their eyes about that. I always defer to the lender on affordability, but other issues are wide open for discussion...there is always the inspection contingency to fall back on. But, let's move on buyers! Buy it if you love it. Then inspect it. Make sure you will love it in 5, 10, 20 years, however long you want to live there.
Tammy - I understand. The only difference in nudging and pushing is how hard you do it!
Jen - It sounds like that would have been prime pushing time!
Suzanne - I agree wholeheartedly. I never try to push anyone to buy a more expensive place if they can't afford it or if it seems unwise.
Jason, Great post! I do agree that many agents may be apprehensive to advise due to being misunderstood. As long as facts are stated and an agent remains ethical there are no worries. (you hope!)
Nice Jason, I definetly notice the best of the best agents telling their clients when to run from a home and when they should really put some money in real estate.
How I wish I had pushed my client harder when the offer was 910K two years ago! He was "insulted" by that offer and insinuated that I was only pushing him to take the offer because I wanted my commission out of it (didn't really insinuate - came right out and said it). He just now closed (with a different listing agent) after more than two years on the market - a short sale at $700K. How much "push back" should we, as an industry, take from our clients? I was verbally assaulted by this angry man, who apparently felt he had the right to take his frustrations out on me. This week I will begin taking classes in "Fierce Conversations" hoping to learn better methods of communicating distressing subjects with the people in my life.
Interesting. It's similar to the way I feel about other sales people. We've probably all hear the saying that "nobody like to feel 'sold'" I disagree. When I go to a store and talk to the sales person in a department, I expect them to be educated enough to "sell" me on the product. I don't mean I want them to be pushy, but I expect them to be sales people.
Jason, you are right, sometimes a nudge is as good as a shove. Sometimes we need to remove the small obstacles in the road or find a way around them (like a minor difference in price) .. When we find the buyer a great home and the seller a great contract... our job is to get the best deal CLOSED. I have of course had some folks that you could not dynamite out of a silly position, and they all lost. And I have had some that only needed a forceful nudge.
It is all about being honest. Helping then logically look at a situation is not really pushing it is just walking them through what they had really already told you in the first place.
Jason, good post. I work as a transaction broker, not as an agent.... can't push my client. No agency law here. BUT enjoyed reading the post.
It is about helping the client see the light "themselves"... sometimes it take a "push" to get them to look more objectively of at any fears and put them into perspective so they can move ahead. I'm glad your clients didn't end up flipping hamburgers.
I tend to work very closely with my clients. I like to lay all the cards on the table and go over the pros and cons - point by point. I like to be their advisor in helping them to arrive at a wise decision. I sleep very well at night!
yes sometimes clients get hung up on little things. As a real estate agent we we to explain the whole picture and the current real estate market that is happening in their area.
Ultimately they make the decision, but we decide what arguments to recommend they consider as they make those decisions.
It is part of our job to interject reality. Sometimes the reality isn't the most politically correct path...
Its so true i try not too be pushy, but I do try to educate them all the same.
There is a diffrence between pushing them into something they dont want to do and that might not be good for them and nudging them a bit to see how they won't be hurt by making the move or decision...people need help sometimes to get it together in their own mind... it is a trust factor.... and sometimes you have to trust yourself to know what is right and what is wrong...to be able to help your client make the right deicsion for themselves...
Rather than pushing clients I like to think of it as bouncing ideas back and forth. I always want them to draw their own conclusions.
Jason,
Undoubtedly you remain friendly with this client by bringing the family to the joint where he is flipping burgers!
Today my buyers were fretting about whether they'd get the appliances with their ultra-lowball as we were writing up the offer. "If you get this home anywhere near the $XX you're offering, you don't deserve the fridge!" They laughed and they got my point.
You bet I'll push, that is part of my job. Another part is to act as they direct when they don't agree.
Hello all - Thanks very much for taking the time to read and comment on my post!
After reading through some of the comments, it would seem that the semantics of the word "PUSH" (as opposed to nudge, etc.) make it seem negative.
Just a thought - would you rather have someone push you out of the way of a speeding car, or nudge you? What about logically explaining why you should move? I didn't get that from a book, by the way - it just seemed like an apt analogy here.
I really think that some clients (not all, mind you) need a push, as evidenced by the email from the seller that I referenced here.
Hi Jason... Congrats on the Gold Star... this is a very good post. I always tell my clients up front that there may be times during the transaction where I have to tell them things that are not pleasant and that they may not be happy to hear, but that they can always count on me to tell them the truth and what the need to hear to make decisions based on facts. It's my job!
Irene - Thanks for providing another example of a reality check during negotiations. Good stuff!
thats so very true - if you have taken time to build trust with your clients, there may very well be a time when you need to nudge them in the direction that might more then likely be in their best interest.....We have an objectivity that they don't have - and hopefully professional expertise and people savy - to get that job done!
Hi JC !
Yep, good point and good analogy to go along with it with your burger flipping clients ;o)
Realtors are often so nervous about that "we dont give advice" thing, but I think, like you, we are doing some of them a disservice if we dont 'nudge' or 'politely advise', when we may 'understand the situation' better than some of them.
... oh and for the record, push, shove, heck grab me by the hair if a speeding car is coming right for me !
Cheers mate !
Sheldon
I remember thinking that the classes should all be called "1001 Ways to Avoid Being Sued".
I thought the same thing ;-)
I have noticed that with seller's helping them understand that a little give and take in the negotiations is a much better plan that standing your ground - pushing them to understand a $1000 repair for example is a whole lot more affordable than another month or two on the market!!!
Jason, you do well because you relate to the situation...or at least that's what I think. As I tell my family, I don't sell homes, I sell lifestyles.
Jason
This is an excellent point. It can be difficult to push back on clients, more so some than others, but aren't we doing them a disservice if we don't. We are getting paid for our knowledge and experience. Sometimes clients have to hear things they don't want to. It's their choice, of course, if they decide to do something else, and that is their prerogative. But they need to understand the implications of their decisions, and that is how we can help them best. If we just do what they want than we are nothing but order takers. No thanks.
Jeff
The final decision is always the client's to make, but they should have the benefit or our expertise and experience first.
Jason - I agree with your semantics. When needed, we should push sellers to price their homes properly to accept offers that are strong and reject those that are weak and do likewise for buyers. They often don't have enough market knowledge to know what the right decision is.
There are some really good points in your post - it's hard to know where to start...First of all I totally believe in speaking my mind. The way I see it I'm no use to the client if I tell him what he wants to hear. Sometimes that translates into pushing, except I wouldn't put it quite as strongly as that. As far as your comment about 1001 ways to avoid being sued - I think the very same thing every time I go through any kind of real estate course! I don't see how being paranoid about being sued is going to help me be a better Realtor, so I rely on my good judgment and just get on with it!
I just had a client kick himself because he didn't listen to me and write a full price offer. Push on...
Part of our value proposition as agents should be our candor, a willingness to freely speak our mind when we believe it's in the best interest of the client. This post is a clear illustration of that.
The premise od sales is to sell. Sometimes all it boils down to is the right words at the right time.
There is such a thing as buyers remorse- both for homes they did and did NOT buy- the best we can do is be honest with them at the time they are making that decision. Good Post Jason!
Many clients needs to be affirmed on there actions sometimes. They just get buyers shy disease and cant make the decision by themselves.
"Just the facts ma'am."
One agent's "push back" is another agent's "facts".
That said, many agents go into a "fast talking sales pitch" when trying to persuade buyers or sellers about making a decision.
We just have to know the difference because most consumers surely do.
Jason...
I think that every now and then a client wants us to help them "change the rules" a bit. Sometimes a little reinforcement goes a long way!
If clients knew everything that we know, then they wouldn't need us. The point of hiring a professional is that want guidance, and where to draw the line is the challenge. I don't make cosmetic decisions, but if a client told me they were going to have the house only three years, and the price was at the highest point it could possibly be and had much more downside, I would push by asking them do you want to being money to closing when you sell? Push, but give them the right to make the good decision.
There are times that if you don't give your clients that gentle nudge(when they are afraid)they will wind up losing the home they like most !
Jason, My Sellers hire me because of my knowledge and espertise. I push them all the time. I argue. I get forceful. And I direct them into making good decisions. I completely agree with the seller above.
I discuss this with my sellers at time of listing. I tell them that I will never force them to accept an offer BUT if I feel they are making abda decision I will fight them on it.
Sellers and Buyers have emotions tied up into the deal....I don't. That's one of the reaosn they are hiring me. They trust me to guide them properly. I take that responsibilty seriously.
Okay Jason, You are RIGHT, I would not want to be "nudged" from in front of a speeding car. You win. I push and call it nudging because it sounds sweeter and that's what us southern gals do.
Jason-Great real example of your real estate expertise! I try and paint a couple scenarios for my clients to consider and hope they choose the one that works the best for them.
Buyers and sellers sometimes are so wrapped up in the situation they can't make sound choices. It's our job to point things out and direct them (in what they have told us they want from previous conversations). It is up to them to make the final choices - but we do need to be the expert and point out what seems to us is the'obvious choice', because we do deal with it everyday all day long - and they don't. It's big deal for them. They hired us for our knowledge, expertise and pushiness!!! lol - wouldn't go that far - more like 'abiltiy to see the forest thru the trees" lol
Jason- Good example. Typically I don't push back, but there are times when we really need to push the sellers or buyers back. I typically try to do the pushing by asking questions that get the client thinking. I guess we all need to push but in our style.
I wish I had pushed my Buyers that walked away from a great house because we couldn't agree on amount for new carpet -- although these Buyers had been a high-maintenance pain in the ass from day one, so I decided it was time to cut my losses and let them go!
This is a great post..
This helps with a dilemma I was facing with pushing/nudging in the direction the client should move in my professional opinion. I try not to be subjective when the buyer is choosing the property and making decisions about counteroffers that I know will hurt the deal; this article was helpful in providing insight from fellow agents perspective on the subject. I wish I had read it earlier because I had a similar experience like Jen Bowman in Decatur when I worked with a seller that allowed a buyer to walk away on a deal for a 5K difference. The seller was very remorseful because she thought she had the upper hand, I too should have nudged some at that point.
Jason - one of the agents from my office describes "pushing" this way: always working in the clients best interest, even when the client doesn't realize it. Sometimes the client realizes it at the closing table or a month/year later. And sometimes the client never realizes it. But our job is to always work in their best interests. Good post!
You have to know when to push, and when to educate...I find that some clients respond to facts and others to emotion. And some don't respond to anything but losing a deal and learning through experience.
We're supposed to be professionals for a reason. Anyone can answer & ask easy questions, we have to ask and answer the tough ones.
It's a fine line, knowing when to push and when to back off. Sometimes clients just don't know when they need to be pushed, and later may regret it if they lose a property.
Wow! How I wish you had written this last month! My seller clients let an offer of $590K on their $629K priced home get away. Yeah, I pushed, prodded, and all but got down on my hands and knees but nothing' doin'. Now they regret that decision and I often wish I had tried even harder.
Push=call a spade a spade, give the hardcore version, TELL THE TRUTH.
Not shoehorn, force, bully, etc.
Great post!
Jason...a great post. I don'st push, but I do ask questions to get buyers/sellers thinking....and hopefully make the right decision. .I had a seller ask me a question, not what he wanted to hear. Then the seller said, You are the Realtor, you know the business..what would you do...I was honest, and he lowered the price on his house.
Some buyers can't see the forest for the trees. The illustration about the buyers that walked away with enough equity for the home purchase (cash) and two cars (cash) is well-taken.
Personally I would never call my clients foolish. It is THEIR money. I would bounce my ideas off them, but ultimately they can do whatever they want.
Our job is to give good advice. I never have a problem giving my 2 cents on anything related to Real Estate.
Jason - good point, sometimes in a transaction, emotion can take over and logic falls by the wayside. Sometimes bringing people back to reality helps put everything in perspective.
With customers like you described I lead them with an iron hand -- covered with a velvet glove. I remember the theme from the old "Blondie" movies -- "all of my thoughts are right --long as he thinks they're his".
Every good, trained professional can spot a client in deep, entrenched thought. That's the time to use our life experiances and our time with them, to translate what they are really going through into action. Not pushing to me, doing my job.
I just had a seller tell me to make the buyers who are interested in his house, commit. I was thinking how am I going to do that and is that my place? I am now reconsidering that conversation with a new light.I am curious about Pat's class in "fierce communications."
You are so right-- sometimes the best thing is to be a bit pushy and not just roll over to something.
Gary - I would never consider calling a client "foolish" either, but sometimes they do things that simply are. I understand that it is their money, but I still think part of my job as a fiduciary is to tell them when they are wasting their hard-earned funds on something that doesn't make sense. I have had clients who lose track of reality during multiple offer situations, and others who assume that they can buy homes for a fraction of the asking price. Both are relatively foolish, in my humble opinion. As with the term "push", I guess it's really a semantics issue. One man's foolishness is another man's bad decision? No matter what we say, they are certainly able to spend their money however they see fit. Thanks for your input - have a great week!
It's your job to represent their interests to the best of your ability. Part of that involves pointing out when they are wrong.
Thanks Jason!
I have a situation just like that. It's not a comfortable feeling, at least for me, to tell someone they're wrong. However, I realize that's exactly what I need to tell an agent tomorrow.
Bruce - As long as I am not that agent, I think you're doing the right thing. :)
I think most clients appreciate having someone to advise them even if they are against it if it is really something that is good for them, like you pointed out above. We tend to be the voice of reason at times and it almost seems they want us to make the decision for us which I always avoid doing. Advice is one thing, telling them what to do is another!
This is pretty good advice and cash does allow a buyer more options.
Jason,
Remember the line,
"The truth? You can't handle the truth!"
Won't is probably a better word for it.
Jason, Great advice! However, I think other than not wanting to be sued, we sometimes truly think we want to honor our clients wishes, and can lose sight of the fact that we are the experts and we know the market and what might fit their needs and wants much better than them. I am guilty of that and can be a bit more assertive at times.
If you are already in a relationship with a client, then it is easier to push them when negotiating on their behalf. Before that relationship is established, I don't know. One definitely needs to have that skill mastered in order to be successful in this business.
Don't "push" the client, "pull" them (toward the conclusion that you have already arrived at). Find a way to make them think the idea is their own.
As a new agent it's good to hear this information. My thoughts are to push gently, when it seems like they're staying from the "task at hand". Thanks for sharing this information it is very helpful.
Jason-
Thanks for reminding us of the simple truth that representing ones clients to the best of ones abilities does not include being a pushover or "yes man". In business as in real estate, clients routinely need to be shaken up a bit if it's in their best interest. The ones that benefit are going to be grateful that you spoke up--always.
Jason, I fear that in pushing a client, they might end up hating the decision later and then be angry with me. How do you feel about that???
Bob - Great question. I guess my primary advice would be not to strongly advocate any course of action unless you're sure that you are correct. I have been in business for almost 13 years now, and I have never had a client who was angry with me, or at least none that have ever indicated this to me. The only time to push is when you KNOW you're right.
I educate my clients and sometimes pushing may be involved, but I think there are many different levels of pushing.
Many times a client needs a nudge , or push if you will, to make the decision that is right for them. If we have been listening to the client it's up to us deliver the push if necessary.
I loved this, Jason! Hope you don't mind that I've 'bounced' off on your thoughts - you'll find links to this post on my blog.
Great thoughts!
Jason, some people need a little push and some don't. I really depends on the client. I try to provide all the facts I can for them to maka sound decision. I will, of course, give my opinion if asked.
Great discussion that's the best part of AR, the open discussions. thanks everyone!
Jason,
Our clients are looking to us for our expertise..that's why they are hiring us. We need to give them honest opinions and sometimes we need to push if we see they are making a mistake. As you said we need to give them real help..that comes from our experience and is what they are counting on!
We are the experts, and I'm glad that your sale worked out to the benefit and happiness of all parties. I had a client berate me before about the sale of their home. I could go back and read the emails, but basically, I gave her Realtor advice, and she wanted friend advice. I hardly knew her, she was friends with my broker, who gave me the listing because she knew it would be a difficult client. I was like, huh? Friend advice?
Jason,
It really is part of our job, whether a real estate agent or a mortgage provider, to sometimes point out obvious misdirection of our customers. It can be difficult to know when to do it, though.
Excellent advice..something I really need to keep in mind. Also, pushing back does not mean confrontational.
Jason,
I believe this separates the good agents from the great agents. Thanks for this post. For me it is time to take it to the next level.
Hi Jason, I'm an AR newbie, and I was scanning you blog because it is so popular. This particular post caught my attention because I'm new again to real estate. I originally got my license in Austin in about 1975 to sell houses while I attended UT. No one, and certainly not me, ever thought of a lawsuit.
Fast forward to 2009, and by the time I finished real estate school, I was wondering what I'd gotten myself into with this business. What can I say, what can't I say, what form do I use...all good questions. Fortunately, I have a very good broker and staff to keep me straight. So, I'm in the biz again for the long haul and I'll get used to it.
In the meantime, my head is about to explode with all the new rules and technology.
Jimmy Stewart
RE/MAX North - San Antonio