For those of you who don't know who Henny Youngman is, shame on you! No, seriously, Henny Youngman was known as "King of the One Liners". He actually passed away the same year that my son was born (1998). His most famous line was "Take my wife.....please!"
My son also seems to have a penchant for one-line comments that make me laugh. This past week, he shared some gems with us that I wanted to share with you guys:
We were in San Antonio last weekend for my wife's 20th high school reunion (mine is next year in Dallas). While we were walking along the beautiful Riverwalk, with its shops and restaurants, someone right in front of us was blowing smoke directly into our faces. My eight-year old son said dryly, "Whoever invented cigarettes should be dragged into the street and shot." I couldn't help but laugh, but then I also wondered where he could have possibly heard this phrase before. He told me that he saw it in one of his Garfield books.
Later that weekend, we were in the van and my wife and I kissed. The kids were behind us in their seats, and the kiss was longer than a peck, but shorter than something you wouldn't do in front of the kids, if that makes any sense (makes more sense when you say it out loud than if you write it). Anyway, after we finished kissing, my son said, "Great! Now I have to wash my eyeballs!" while rubbing his eyes, as if that could somehow erase the image of his parents smooching.
Last night, after we finished his bedtime prayers, he held out his arms in a preformed circle and said, "Give me a hug, big guy!!" Of course, I was happy to oblige, so I bent down to hug him. He didn't really latch on for the hug, but it was a hug nonetheless. Then, he said, "I was actually talking to God. But now you got your Bran hug for the day anyway." (We call them Bran hugs because his name is Brandon.)
If you liked this post, I have shared here a number of times about funny things that he has said, along with funny stuff from my other kids as well (see below). Enjoy!
My Toddler Daughter's Current Favorite Show
Three funniest things my kids have said this week
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Jason, what a lovely post. Write this down, oh wait you just did. It is funny how as time flies by you forget those precious moments of things your kids do and say. We have tapes of all of our kids talking when they were little so we could remember their sweet little voices.
Jason,
He sounds like an adorable little guy...thank you for the morning smiles (and giggles).
I have 3 sons and so often I think of the days when they were little. My middle son was a talkaholic and nothing was sacred..if he heard or saw it, it would crop up again down the road at an unexpected time in an awkward environment. My family still talks about the things he said (and he's now 21).
Such a delightful post...I look forward to reading many more from you like this.
Jo
Very funny stuff, Jason. I look forward to reading the other posts that you mentioned,
The hug is hilarious! I'm wondering if I call God "Big guy", whether He will give me a few more hugs?! I could sure use them :)
OK, I'm sharing one with you:
When my son was three, we took one of our last baths together when he pointed out that his belly (which stuck out a bit as children's do) was actually bigger than mine. So I told him how mine was once REALLY big when he was just a tiny little goldfish bubbling inside and how I used to sing to him so he would know me when he was born. He said, "Oh mama, if I have a bad day, can I please go back inside?" Such innocence :)
Good thing Henny's retired. He might not be able to take the competition! You've got some great kids, there, Jason. Congratulations on so many levels!
Cheers, from DC!
Jaynee
Wonderful the liners kids pull on us. My son is 26 now but when he was young my mom pulled his wet pants from the washer when my son turned up frantic about he had something in the pocket. My mom pulled out a wet dollar bill and he said....oh, great ...liquid assets. hahaha.
Thanks for sharing....
When my oldest was 4yrs old, we took him fishing in the boat. He had already caught several sandbass when he hooked a 5lb catfish. it broke off right at the boat.
I said: Dang, he broke your line.
He said: That's ok.... we have more line.
Your kids are a riot Jason!
BTW, heading out to my 20 year reunion tomorrow night...
Jason
sounds like you have a wonderful famly and enjoy being a dad, hold on to these memories they don't last as long as we would like then too.
SALLY - Yes, I did give my opinion on that issue, although my comments were brief and to the point. Thanks for the reminder!
MATTHEW B - Good plan. I could probably write a short book on this by that time. Thanks for your comments!
TOM - Great story. Thanks for sharing it here! How many kids do you have?
ADAM - Thanks for your supportive comments! I would imagine that there are a lot of people who will know him better the more time I spend here blogging. Talk to you soon!
KAREN ANNE - I heard once that you are getting old when pretty much anything that someone says reminds you of a story. I feel that way all the time these days, but I am still relatively young. Thanks for reading and for your great comment.
I love kids! They are sometimes a great source for laughter in our lives and just seeing their minds at work can be a blessing in itself. Unless it is like what my daughter did to me and using those one liners against me!
Hi TODD - Thanks for stopping by to comment on this one. I already have some fresh new material to share sometime soon.
MET - Thanks for your comment. I just wrote another post about my kids here:
Where is Art Linkletter when you need him?