This afternoon and evening, I spent some time helping my wife get her mom checked into a nursing home, for a temporary stay while she recuperates from two recent back surgeries. We are hoping to have her back at her home by Christmas, but time will tell on this. We also went and bought her a TV (who knew they would have cable at every bed?) and got it set up before we left.
We were there with our three kids, and our toddler daughter Abby basically had free run of the place. At one point, she darted into the director's office, and they seemed really happy to see her and her antics. Later, while my wife was 
with her mom, I was following Abby, and she ran into one of the rooms with patients. I cringed inwardly, but when I got in there to pick her up, I looked to one side, and there was a smiling lady waving and cooing at the baby. As I turned around, her roommate was doing the exact same thing. They were thrilled to have the company. It was like a ray of sunshine for them.
Everywhere we went in the facility, the patients' faces would light up magically at the sight of our three blond cherubs. I have experienced this before with our littlest one when we walk around at a mall or a restaurant, but today all of our kids were perceived as something interesting and new, young and beautiful. My son Brandon was very engaging and friendly, and my six-year old daughter Aleah just had to stand there and look pretty, frankly.
I used to volunteer at a hospital when I was a teenager, and I remember similar expressions on the patients that I helped provide care for. Later, when I was president of my college fraternity, we once held a dance with the ladies at the Wesleyan Nursing Home just up the street from the university. There were about 10 of us who showed up, and we made the rounds dancing with as many of the ladies as we could, even some who were in wheelchairs. They were so excited to dance with us, and it is something that I hope I never forget.
To be honest, I would love to always get that same reaction from my family and friends, and even from my real estate clients. I want their faces to light up when they see me, or even when they hear my name. This is probably asking a lot, but why not shoot for this? I want people to be excited to see me and to be interested in my conversations. I don't expect everyone to be enraptured by my every word, but I do want the impression I leave to always be as positive and interesting as possible.
Thinking about it from the other perspective, I wouldn't mind being able to find pleasure in something as simple as a friendly child, or a visit from a new friend. I know that I get wrapped up sometimes in the daily grind, but tonight's trip was a good reminder for me about priorities.
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ERIC - Actually, I think you could have gone on for awhile. I think your comments made me better understand why I wrote this post in the first place. I knew that it put things in a different light for me, and I am so glad that it did the same for you as well. Now, the key is to ACT on it, rather than just ruminate. I am saying this to myself, too. Thanks for your great remarks. I'm happy that you seem to have been touched by this.
I just realized how close you are (San Antonio). We were just there last week at my wife's high school reunion (Madison)! I need a good agent in San Antonio for referrals.
Jason:
Nice post. Life is so short it is good for us to take time to smell the roses.
"but I do want the impression I leave to always be as positive and interesting as possible." Jason, I see so much positive in this wonderful story. You have shown your children a great lesson that often time is forgotten when our lives get so busy. Service to Others. Your example while serving and helpng your mother in-law, your service sharing a little bit of brightness with those that might have not had a visitor in some time. The excitement that the patients shared and your children experienced no doubt went much deeper than you probably noticed. I am sure your compassion and your loving example will definitely go far with your children. There is nothing that can replace the love of a child and a child's love of their parent/s. Your subtle example speaks volumes that I am positive that runs deep into your professional life as well. I would imagine there are many prospective buyers/sellers would seek someone with such qualities. Keep on keeping and you will see those little faces twenty years down the road will light up even more so everytime you walk in the room. Chaulk up another great post. I know I keep coming back reading and want to see what you have to say! Candace
CANDACE - Wow! Thanks for making my day (night?)! These were awesome comments, and I really appreciate your kind words on this one. I honestly don't know what else to say, except thank you. Please keep reading and commenting. You seem to have a knack for putting a smile on my face with your words.
Jason, You are very welcome! It appears we keep similar hours, night owls. I have found you really are a man of compassion and I call it how I see it, in this case 'read' it. You have a great way with words and don't be surprised how many you truly touch through your posts. Count me in as 'one'! Thank you. Have a great weekend.
Jason - how awesome it was that you allowed your children to be a part of your visit. I've volunteered for years at nursing homes and assisted living facilities and NOTHING brightens up the elderly more than children.
When my son was small I would take him with me and he would have a blast! (Always ended up with way too much candy...always left with more than we had at home!)
Not only did you bring a smile to the resident's faces, you've enriched your children's lives as well. What a blessed man you are!
Jason, I was getting ready to hit the 5 button, when I noticed this was already featured. Wonderful story and I love the way you tied it in to our clients.
Our Senior Citizens adore seeing children and especially little girls. I think it brings them back to the days not so long ago where that is a fond memory. To see their faces light up is so cool. Take them back often.
Jason, this is a very touching post. My wife's grandmother is in a retirement home about 15 minutes from where we live. My wife's parents visit her at least 3 times a week since they helped move her up here from Florida 3.5 years ago. We see grandma at least 2X a month, sometimes more. She's one of the most positive people I know, and is always delighted to see us -- "no complaints, everything is great" you'll always find her saying. The other residents are always excited to visitors even when the visitors are not for them. The other week we went to an afternoon happy hour at the home, and my wife did a bit of spontaneous dancing for the senior crowd and their faces sparkled as they were taken back to their lively youth for a few moments from the old-time music and dancing and forgot for a few minutes that they are on walkers, in wheelchairs and approaching the twilight of their lives.
BTW, I'm guessing that your children must get there blonde hair from their mother?
Here's hoping for a speedy recovery. Take the little ones to visit often.
Those can be really sad places.
Jason-What a beautiful post. I do think it is important to realize what really is important and what is not. Recently my mother and I have gotten so close...these are supposed to be her golden years. She deals with my father's illness and is trying to move to have a better life....just like a nursing home....their golden years...its the little things in life that brings the most joy to people's lives. Even myself, I notice as I get older....I really appreciate the good things, the little things and take very little for granted. A smile, a Hello, a thank you....sharing a special moment...a child's laughter.... a walk...a run... who knows when our bodies will fail us....great reminder Jason....
BRIAN - Thanks for sharing that story here. Since your wife is a dancing professional, I'm sure that it was an awesome experience for everyone. It's great to hear that your wife's grandmother is so relentlessly positive in her outlook. That was one of the things I always respected about my dad (he passed away two years ago). Even though he was sick and bedridden for a long time, you would never have known anything was wrong from speaking with him on the phone, because he was so optimistic.
As for the blond hair, they actually get that from both of us. My hair was very blond when I was a kid, and it still looks blond-ish in certain light, but it's pretty much light brown now. Thanks for asking!
This is a wonderful post. What a great way to spend the day. I actually worked in a nursing home all through high school. It gave me a life long lesson of respect for the elderly. I would recommend it to any and all. It is amazing the impact of your presence has on these wonderful but sometime forgotten people.
My VFW group volunteers at out local VA Hopital once a month. We call bingo and pass out cash prizes, bring food, pop, T-shirts, what ever we can get out hands on. Those guys (and women) love it. No matter how bad the day, week or month is, there is always somebody worse off than I!!
We have a pretty good crowd of kids that we take with us (Members kids and Grandparents). They help watch the bingo cards for the patients. Those patients (many have been in their for years and will never leave) just light up when they see new people coming in to be with them for a couple hours.
I've been doing it for 3 years now. I'm not really sure if they get more out of it than I do. It's a fun time though.
Your charisma shines through in your writing Jason, so I'm pretty certain your clients are delighted to spend time with you :) I decided long ago to just be myself around everyone and let the chips fall where they may. I'm friendly and outgoing and have a nice rapport with my clients. Since I work exclusively by referral, this seems to be the ticket.
Your children sound delightful! Take this opportunity to realize all the good that will come from including the entire family in volunteer activities. So many wonderful people will benefit - especially your kids!
MARCHEL - Thanks for the "congrats". I am always surprised at which of my posts get featured.
You are right - I think "out of sight, out of mind" holds true in many of these nursing homes. We will be back up there this afternoon to check on her and visit for awhile. We also need to figure out what medications they have her on, as she really didn't seem to be herself last night.
Right on, Jason, and congrats on the gold star. Well-deserved.
When those pesky little brats came up to Jesus and his posse tried to kick them to the curb...
He made a powerful statement to delight in the simple things.
SARDI - Thanks for your sincere and kind input on this post. As I mentioned in one of my comments above, I actually debated over whether to write this at all, because I didn't want to cheapen it somehow. Obviously, I am glad that I did. It seems to have touched several people, which is what really matters. I wrote it from my heart.
- Jason "The Loveseat" Crouch
This was such a touching story. I've almost lost my Grandmother 4 times this month due to diabetes, the lastest episode occurred yesterday. My two boys (ages 12 & 15) and I found my her in an infant-like state, unable to communicate or even move yesterday. We worked as a team to get her blood sugar back up. Although I saw the look of fear on my boy's faces, they helped keep me calm which resulted in a happy ending (I was so proud of them).
We left with a newfound appreciation for life itsself, and for the gift of having another precious day with my grandmother. I'm a firm believer there's always something positive in every situation... it sounds like you're family has also discovered this. God Bless your mother-in-law, I wish her a speedy recovery! Thanks for sharing!
TRACEY - I am glad you liked it so much. Thanks for your comments, and for the congratulations. I was hoping it would come across as inspirational.
ADAM - I really appreciate your comments. We did a few things like that when I was in a fraternity, but the bulk of what you hear from the media is negative. Remember this one?:
Please Don't Read This Post!
As for the kiddos, it was almost as if they radiated some sort of cool healing vibe with the elderly residents. The patients all immediately perked up and smiled, even if they were looking sad before. Thanks for stopping by to share your remarks - I see you also managed to get featured today!
LISA - Thanks for taking time to check it out. I hope it didn't come across as shameless self-promotion on your blog - I was just thinking about what you said about writing that post so quickly. This one was much the same way. As for the subscribe button, my friend Adam Waldman published a post on this topic, and I helped him get the finishing touches done:
Creating A "Subscribe To My Blog" Button
Go for it!
So true, Jason....so true. As a child our Brownie Scout troop performed some sort of holiday delivery to a nursing home near by, which terrified me on several levels. I'm not sure I've ever recovered fully from that experience, but my life has required me to visit nursing homes, so, functionally, I'm over it.
To take very young children - before they reach those ages of question and fear - to visit old folk is the best, sweetest, most loving and wonderful thing anyone can do. Good for you. Good for your children!
I've always thought I'd love to have a day care center on a big campus with an eldercare center and a pet rescue business. Can you imagine the pure joy?
Cheers! from DC...
Jaynee
I was at my son's JV football game yesterday morning when all of the sudden a group of seniors with walker rollers and canes were parading along the fence led by a friend of mine, Anne. Our son's were best friends and linemen a few years back for the highschool football team. I remembered that Anne worked as an activity director for a local assisted living facility. She called the cheerleaders over to pose with the for a snapshot sure to grace the bullitin board back at the home. I called to her and waved, she exclaimed aren't they cute! Her little crew strolling along just happy to be out and about and they were adorable! I had the pleasure of meeting several of her group they were happy, they loved being there and meeting folks, watching the kids, their energy was amazing. Anne was glad to hear that my youngest son Johnny was playing this year, it's always more fun when you know a player. They'll be back. I was thinking about Anne today and how she must always enjoy walking into her job knowing that these folks are looking forward to her and the contribution she makes in their lives.
Looking forward to participating in your new group.
Chris
When I would take my three year old Tall One (now 14) to the nursing home to see my Grandma, she entertained EVERYONE. We made sure there was always a family member with Grandma, and we ended up checking on other patients to help out their families. ANY attention is appreciated, but smiles from a child really light up a nursing home.
Great post.
SARAH - Thanks for your comments. You are right - a child's smile is all it takes to light them up! Please check out my new group when you have a chance (just formed today). I think you are someone who could bring a lot to the table here:
http://activerain.com/groups/familyties
I will be writing a post about this, probably tomorrow. Adam announced it in his latest post this evening.