Okay, I see that I have a call coming in from an unknown number. Is it a potential client relocating to Austin? Is it something productive? Sadly, no. It is a sales call - again. I have registered all of my numbers on all of the "do not call" lists available, yet I still manage to get at least several of these each week. I noticed that they don't call my home anymore, which is a blessing, but the office number and my cell phone are still targets.
Granted, the types of calls are more targeted now, which is good and bad, I suppose. On the good side, they are not trying to sell something completely without value to me as a real estate broker. Conversely, they are trying to SELL ME SOMETHING OVER THE PHONE. As such, I wish they would have mercy on me and make it brief. State your business and see if I have even a modicum of interest in your product or service, then move on with your life after I tell you that I do not.
Here is a verbatim account of a call that I received today at my office:
ME: Austin Texas Homes, this is Jason.
RANDOM ANONYMOUS TELEMARKETER (RAT for short): Hello, sir, this is ____ with ____.com. I see here that you had expressed interest in one of our programs.
ME: No.
RAT: Well, I show that you used our _____ program and I wanted to see how that work
ed out for you.
ME: I don't know what you are talking about - I'm sorry.
RAT: We had a program back in the day that allowed you to work a lead and pay a referral fee, rather than an upfront fee.
ME: Oh, yes. That was a long time ago.
RAT: Yes, well, we have some other programs that will allow you to (inaudible) or just (inaudible) and not pay any referral fee.
ME: Mm hmm.
RAT: We work with all of the search engines, such as Google, Yahoo, MSN.....
It was at that point that I gently put the phone back on the cradle and disconnected the call. I usually don't give them as much time as this guy had, but I was feeling generous today and maybe he had something to offer. He also seemed so, I don't know, pathetic? For the record, the service he mentioned was something that I used EIGHT years ago. Wow - they must have a massive pipeline of previous customers if there is an eight-year lag to get back in touch. No, I am not exaggerating - I remember the clients well.
At any rate, I was willing to listen to him for a few seconds. I just realized how he managed to keep my interest beyond the initial greeting. Telemarketers have a terrible habit of asking how you are, then when you
respond, "I'm doing well. How are you?" they inevitably say somewhat manically, "I'm great! Thanks for asking!" I have yet to speak with anyone in the normal course of a week who says these words that is not trying to sell me something. If I call my wife during the day, or my mom, or my best friend, or a client, they NEVER say, "Thanks for asking!" I am not a big-time poker player, but this is the biggest "tell" that a telemarketer has. In other words, I know in the first three seconds what their objective is. From there, sadly, it is downhill for them.
I have a new habit with telemarketers and I admit that it is a little cruel. Whenever someone says the key phrase ("Thanks for asking!"), I usually begin my next sentence and hang up the phone in the middle of my own sentence. I simply don't have time to listen to their scripted sales pitch, and the only time that a telemarketer has ever been successful with me is when they are asking for a donation for a worthy cause (such as Special Olympics, National Children's Cancer Society, VFW, etc.). The non-profit guys never start with a script - they just introduce themselves and their organization, and I will give them the time of day. Maybe the other guys could learn from this.
On a related note, I recently complimented a waitress for saying, "My name is Janet and I am your server. Can I get you something to drink?" RATHER THAN, "My name is Janet, and I'll be taking care of you this evening." Who started that? Taking care of me? Will you pay some of my bills for me, or watch my kids while I go to a movie? Or is there some seedy other meaning that I am not catching? I realize that they are probably trained to say that, but I still don't have to like it.
Sorry for the rant - Jason Sardi should be happy to see this post. He mentioned that he would like to see me rant sometime.
Thanks for reading about some of my various pet peeves. I welcome your comments.
Copyright 2007 Austin Real Estate
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Jason, you and I must be on the same call lists. These days as soon as I get the "Hello Mr. Block, how are you?" -- I cut right to the chase "What are you selling?" Who trains salespeople to say Hi, How are you? They really don't care how you are! They just want your money.
Another thing they always say in a last ditch of desperation is "Don't you want to increase your business. Make more money." That's the point when they hear CLICK... Silence.
As annoying as they can be, you do have to pity the telemarketers. Most of them are horrible. They really need some better training. I'm glad that you posted this rant, so I didn't have to.
I have been getting these calls for the last 3 days all day long. It does get to be annoying especially when they call more than once. Another one called me today asked for the man of the house. I finally asked why do you keep calling my cell phone?
Once I hear the script I say I am not interested. If they want to speak to me be original and not such a salesperson. They obviously do not know that Sales people do not like to talk to sales people.
JASON: You are the man!!! This was laugh-out-loud funny. I think that you may have blown a golden opportunity though. Are you really generating that much business that you can afford to wait around until Haley's Comet comes back again to be offered another opportunity for these obviously hard-to-get golden leads. Think boy, think! These must be the Glengarry leads, the ones that everyone wants. By the way, I will never be able to listen to a waitress utter those words again without laughing out loud. Thanks for that Calliou!
Those guys have really been busy this week, I've received more calls this week than usual. I've learned that when you answer if there is a long pause, it is probably a telemarketer. I really do not give them much time before I excuse myself.
BRIAN - Your comments made me laugh. Telemarketers are a pretty sad lot, aren't they? I do feel sorry for them sometimes. On a related note, a friend of mine told me today about a guy who called him with a bad stutter. That must be sheer torture. I think I may start to turn the tables on these guys, and when they ask me how I am, I am immediately going to say, "I'm great! Thanks so much for asking!". It would make their script more difficult to use.
Thank you Jason for this post/rant! I agree totally...it is extremely annoying, especially if you put someone on hold to answer the incoming call!
I think the best one I have had to date was one when I asked them what they were trying to sell me and what the cost was going to be, the guy actually told me it would not cost me anything and then proceeded in the same breath to state that there would be a small fee which I could cancel in the first 90 days! Needless to say I told him I was cancelling the call instead.
Crouch - We need to talk about this, I love talking to Telemarketing Agencies. I screw with them to the point where they hang up on me:-)
Good stuff, Jason. Sometimes I'll just put them on the phone with my 2 year old. If you haven't tried this, you must. I have yet to take the phone back from him with the guy still on the line. The other one I like is begging off the line in a hurried manner, but telling them I would like to talk to them further about it. Please give me your private number, and I'll call you back this evening. One I haven't tried yet, but am contemplating, is the flat-out crazy route. Guy introduces himself as Joe Bafutch with xyz internet leads, I start screaming "MOMMY!" until he hangs up. Or you act like you never heard him introduce himself, and that it is someone you have been awaiting a call from. "You got the stuff, man?" "Don't bring anybody with you."
Can you tell it's been a little slow for me this week?
JANNA - I am glad you like my posts. Thanks for your comments on this critical issue. :) I have had the same cell phone and office phone numbers since 1998, so I guess that is part of the problem.
CRIS - I am happy that you appreciated this, my first "rant". That is the world's worst (putting someone on hold to answer an annoying telemarketer). Thanks for commenting!
GINGER - The cell phone calls are terrible, and there is never a "good time" for these. These guys do have an awful job, but it does seem like they could be trained better, right? I wouldn't wish this job on my worst enemy. Actually, I don't have a worst enemy.
SARDI - I would love to talk to you about this sometime. I have a friend who just says, "Hold on a minute." then puts the phone down and goes about his day until he feels like picking it up again, or until he hears the screeching beep after the phone has been disconnected for a couple of minutes.
PAUL - I like your methods a lot. I have a toddler myself - I need to try this with her. She just turned 18 months, so she should be able to handle any incoming calls. You have several alternatives that I will try. Believe me, you can ask my friends, I WILL do this. I used to be the king of prank calls, even on my friends. This is a little known fact about me (no need to wait for a meme, right?): I can do impressions pretty well. When I was a senior in high school, I once called the girlfriend of a guy that I couldn't stand and broke up with her using his voice. She was really angry that night on the phone, then angry at him the next day, although he managed to convince her that it wasn't him. It was during a ski trip and I was drunk, but I was hero for the night with my friends. It sounds really immature now, but it was a lot of fun then!
I have a good friend, Jeff, whom I have known since we were six years old. When we were eleven, we spent the entire summer making prank calls and RECORDING them. My mom was upset when someone called to speak to her about it, but she was always very cool about stupid boy stuff. I was an only child, so I could pretty much get away with murder.
Hi Jason: As an addition to your story about the waitress... let me share a short lil story.
A while ago I walked into the local Macaroni Grill, and the Hostess walked up to me and said. "Have you been taken care of ? I looked at her, shook my head slowly from side to side, and sadly said... "Not in a long, long time."
As I remember, her face was still red when I had finished dinner, and was walking past her to go out the door.
Hi Again Jason: Thanks for the prize. And, I want to make sure you are aware. I really go around saying stuff like this. It is typical me. I embarrass my daughter on a regular basis whenever we go out to eat.
I don't just make this up for blogging purposes. I really am this bizarre at times. LOL.
JOEY - It has worked wonders for me as a time-saving device. Try it out if you get a chance. Also, Paul Slaybaugh has some great tips above in the comments. Thanks for reading and for commenting!
Hello Jason - awesome post!
First, a reminder that if you are on the DNC list and were one of the first to join up - it will be time to renew soon! Remember that the DNC list is only good for 5 years!
Second, what is it with the gurus in real estate? Are we supposed to be the biggest suckers in the world??? I've only been around for a little over 2 years, but it seems as though the MINUTE I got my license - the spam started flooding my email address and my cell phone started ringing off the hook - with telemarketers touting the latest "lead generator."
Third, I'm going to introduce some controversy: I DON'T cold call - because I know how much I hated it when my evening was interrupted before I joined the DNC list. That doesn't mean I won't call people who signed in at an open house - but I don't cold call randomly. Many say that I am "lazy" and a "coward." But if we hate telemarketers interrupting our day - do you really think the public feels that a real estate agent cold-calling is any "different." I've seen all sorts of justification for this method - along with door knocking in communities with "no soliciting " signs. "I'm just offering 'information'" - no you are SOLICITING! Don't try that at my house, I work from home and don't like having my day interrupted and I have
"Buddy" - who doesn't like trespassers! He's very sweet - but protective.
DESIREE - I guess I am just a polite guy, but they do really irritate me. With regard to mispronouncing the name, that is the cardinal sin of telemarketing. Speaking of which, my business partner goes by Frank, but his legal first name is Joseph. He can always tell that it is a salesperson if they say, "Hey, Joe!"
Ruthmarie and Jason, I refuse to cold call as well. Even when I first started out, I didn't want to be "that guy." Plenty of agents make a very successful living this way, but I won't prospect in a manner that would annoy me as a consumer.
A couple years ago my wife agreed to host a tuperware party. The morning off a Telemarkerter called early in the morning. I was actually looking through the cataloge so I let them do their speach. I then borke out my speach on the benifit of Tuperware and why they should place an order. We will gladley accept a major creditcard over the phone as well..........
The telemarketer actually hung up the phone on me!!!
I know its not nice to mess with the telemarketer, they are only doing their job, BUT IT IS FUN!!!
One other thing: If the Telemarketer calls from a charity though, and you are interested in donating, do not do it through the telemarketer as they keep a huge portion of it. Send it directly to the Organization as they then keep 100% of it. MOst charities sub out the task of marketing due to funding. They will take a small amount for a mass marketing campaign because they can not afford to man so many phones themselves.
I just tell them that I don't buy from solicitors.... EVER!!!!!
Then hang up.
I know it doesn't do any good.... the calls will keep coming. But it makes me feel better
From Chad:
<<A couple years ago my wife agreed to host a tuperware party. The morning off a Telemarkerter called early in the morning. I was actually looking through the cataloge so I let them do their speach. I then borke out my speach on the benifit of Tuperware and why they should place an order. We will gladley accept a major creditcard over the phone as well..........
The telemarketer actually hung up the phone on me!!! >>
A friend's mother had a similar method for dealing with telemarketers...whenever she would get a call from a telemarketer, she would start off "I'll be glad to talk to you about your product "X" - but first let me tell YOU about my vinyl siding company!" They would all hang up! No, the lady had nothing to do with a vinyl siding company - it was just her way of getting them off the phone - she was too polite to hang up on them - so she let them hang up on HER! I thought it was a great idea. I haven't thought about that one in a while - thank you for reminding me.
I am thinking if all your numbers are on the DNC list and you get their name and call back numbers, each violation is $11,000...
Yes - they can be extremely annoying - I think I like the idea of asking them for their home phone number and tell them I'll call back at dinner time :)
Word of caution on the "non-profit" telemarketers - ask them this one question: "How much of my donation will go to the {charity}?" They will hem and haw ... but insist on an answer ... if they say they don't know - ask to speak to their supervisor. 9 out of 10 times, 15% of your donation goes to the charity and the 85% goes to the telemarketing company!! I proceed to tell them I will contribute directly to the organization.
Thanks,
Rita
RITA - Thanks for your great comments. Chad mentioned something very similar above. I haven't given a lot of money via telemarketing, but I have given some. Thanks for your sound advice!
Most of the giving that I do goes directly to people who need it:
Giving of your time, talents, and treasures
Jason:
Nice post. Reminds me of lunch the other day. Ha
Hey how do you get the bookmarks on your blog?
Later
ALAN - Thanks for reading and commenting, buddy. What bookmarks do you mean?
Oooh, baby, this one always makes my blood pressure rise. Aren't we all caught in the trap of being taught to be NICE? I just love your idea of hanging up in the middle of YOUR OWN SENTENCE. Baa haa haa! I'll be using THAT one, I assure you!
Thanks, buddy!
Jaynee
Thanks for asking!
Jer - ???