DISCLAIMER: I shouldn't have to write this disclaimer, but I will anyway, because it's my blog. Nothing in this post is
to be taken seriously. I am only writing this for fun. Back to your reading.
I have written a number of posts about my children over my 3+ months here at Active Rain, but I wanted to take a minute to talk to you about something that is beginning to concern me:
My toddler daughter talks smack sometimes.
Yes, our beautiful 19-month old little girl has recently developed a foul mouth. In fact, I hesitate to share some of these things with you, for fear that you may contact the authorities and they will raid our home 
searching for evidence of improper behavior or politically incorrect educational materials.
The other day, my angel came into the room screaming, "TARDS! TARDS!" I was so startled by this, "What?! Who? Huh? Are you talking to me?" Oh, I see. She only wanted to play with the cards that she had seen on the shelf. Disaster averted. All is well.
A few days later, she looked straight at my eight-year old son and said very clearly, "Dumb." I was taken aback by this. "What's that, honey?" She began to whine a little, and she repeated, "Dumb. Dummy!" I then realized that he had gum in his mouth and she wanted a piece (not really advisable for a toddler, usually).
She absolutely loves our cats, and she often wants to be around the "Kitty", but she can't yet pronounce the "K" sound, so it often comes out as a "T". You can imagine the great laughs that has elicited when we have company over and she is begging to see the kitty.
As a funny side note, she was looking at a picture with me the other day of an outside scene, and she said, "Foggy". I was amazed that she grasped this weather concept already, so I said, "Yes, it is a little foggy there. Good!" Then she pointed at a small frog that I hadn't seen, and said, "Little foggy." Oops. Yes, I see the little frog now.
She is at the stage where she will literally try to repeat anything that you say, no matter how challenging it may seem. I love this phase, because you can say, "Antidisestablishmentarianism" and it will come out as "Tards". Just kidding. The inflection sounds identical to yours, but the word has no meaning at all, unless by pure accident. On short words, it is usually very close.
We have a saying that my son started in our house when he was a toddler that we still use today. When he was small, he would say, "Noooo, you not!" Obviously, he outgrew this, but we thought it was funny, so we still say it seven years later. We even taught our littlest one to say it now, only it comes out as "No.Ninnut!" followed by a big smile or a laugh. She loves to be the life of the party.
The other saying that lasted for awhile from my son's toddlerhood was "No. Go away from me." Not "get away from me" but "go away from me". I loved this one. He would say this anytime another kid was bothering him when he about two. Believe it or not, my mom actually still says it to me when she is talking about someone bugging her at work. This phrase is actually remarkably freeing and descriptive at the right moment. I may start using it with telemarketers now.
I would share one last example with you, but I don't think my blog would be considered family-friendly anymore if I told you how our baby girl pronounces "Fox" these days (think about it and it will come to you). I have placed a moratorium on reading "Fox in Socks" until she is a bit older. Foxy Loxy is also out of the question, as is the phrase, "Crazy like a fox."
Thanks for reading!
Copyright 2007 Austin TX Real Estate Jason Crouch All rights reserved
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I love "go away from me"...can I use that on some agents? I remember when my oldest was young and trying to learn to say "excuse me"...it always came out as a very polite "cusha me".
Probably the funniest (but not so funny) lately was the 16 yr old. When I asked why she is failing French, her succinct reply was "Uuuhhh....Because I don't speak French". OK...there you go. What do you say to that?
Jason,
Do you Remember Kids say the Darndest things? I learned that my Older son, passed on some iffy words to my Younger one, but I talk to them often, and they now know better..
Little Angels, is what I call them :0)
Tom Weiss
Keep them coming please...
ADAM - I am glad that you got a chance to see and enjoy this one. I have been trying to put this one down for about a week now. I am happy that I could provide a little comic relief to your stressful day. Have a good one. I'll talk to you when the Cowboys are 9-1.
MANA LISA - It sounds like you have your hands full. I think you already know my kids' ages (boy - 8, girl - 6, girl - 19 months). The fact that your younger boy's mom left when he was only six months old sounds terrible. It's a good thing that you have been there for him since he was just 3.
By the way, my wife always says that if she had grown another inch she was going to tell everyone that she was 5'12" because she didn't want to be six feet tall. I am 6'4", which makes her happy because she can wear heels and I am still taller.
LOL very very cute. They are adorable. I am not a parent but I always find it interesting when "chatting" with a toddler how I can look so puzzled and then mom or dad chimes in with "blah blah blah"
I think .... wow the hell did they get that out of that???? Thanks for sharing
My darling toddler has picked up some words that his older sisters like to use frequently. So what used to be a duet of "Its Mine; No It Is Mine" has now added another voice. Although not trash talk it is equally annoying:)
Oh my gosh this is funny! These have got to be my favorite blogs, when you share your stories about your little ones. Being a Mom I can relate and hear some funny things myself. Not so much from my 14 year olds, but my little girl who is 4, yeah she has her moments. Mostly thinking she is an adult. She uses very big words and actually puts them in their proper sentence. Oh, and her French accent. We're not sure where this little angel came from. :)
Thanks for making me laugh this morning. My kids are older now, thanks for bringing back some memories
My five year old called my 3 year old a tard last weekend in context. My yougest comes up names as well? Not really sure where they pick these words up.
Wasn't there a show ca;;ed "Kids say the drndest things" ? Once I had my daughter in the office and somebody asked her if she wanted a gumball from the machine nextdoor. The machine takes dimes and all she had was quarters. So I told the agent that I had a bunch of change in ashtray, it was unlocked, grab what she needed. Off they went to buy some gum. Later that night, my daughter decided to announce " The nice lady in Daddy's truck bought me a bunch of bubble gum". Kids have a way of saying the cutest things and making them sound cheap!
JULIE - I can relate to the French accent. My son uses an accent like the guy in the old Grey Poupon commercials ("Pardon me...") whenever we are around elevators. He likes to pretend that he is the elevator operator ("Watch your step, madam"). He is such a ham, but he comes by it honestly. His dad is worse!
KATERINA - My kids are also very verbally precocious. Today, we got all three of them baptized at church, and our pastor was greeting us, and my son said, "It's really an honor to be here today." I'm sure that people thought I coached him to say this since he is 8, but that's just his personality. Both of my older kids told me later that it was exciting being on stage. It was really a great day for our family.
PEGGY - I am glad this made you laugh. Have a great week!
JOSETTE - I am still enjoying the innocence of their youth, but I know that this is coming eventually. Thanks for your comments, as always!
CHAD - Those are both funny stories. Thanks for sharing them. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving with your family.
KEITH - I once watched my grandmother use three generations of names to correct my son. She said my dad's name, then mine, then my son's, all in quick succession until she got the right one. Have a great week!
I too often write about my kids and it is those moments you described in your blog today that make it so much fun to be a parent.
Oh, my goodness, I LOVED this post!!! And so relevant, since this morning I had to explain to my three year old that D*^n is not a word we use in our home. I think I know where he got it, but still. Problem is, it is a word that we use sometimes in our home. Oops. :)
A friend of mine had a three year old who couldn't make the "F" sound, so she would take him to the monster truck show just to hear him yell "Truck! Truck!" in his special way. Think about it.
I just had the best laugh of my day reading this post and all the comments. Thanks!
Jason,
Funny. They do say the darndest things. My kids used to tell us all the time.... "I glub you". Still to this day... .we use the term. Actually, the term still has two meanings.... one when the kids tell us how they care about us.... they glub us.... and the other when they want to go out in the cold and put on their glubs to keep their hands warm.
Oh my, laughing. Funny how the mispronounced words with no real idea of what they mean or how to use them ends up so dang funny! I think I would put the kabosh on the Fox word too for a bit...My son when he was 5 went to an afterschool program until I got off work about 5. One day I picked him up and drove him home and was in the middle of cooking dinner when he says " Mommy what's a (soundes like runt with a c).."? I seriously choked and went a little nuts. I am really really not fond of that word for any reason. I told him it was a very bad word and to not ever say it again. So of course he said it over and over sing song style.. He got a literal taste of soap that evening and we still laugh about it(sort of)
:.(
ALLISON - I like "Garbage Back Pack" - it sounds like something one of my kids would say. Our toddler actually sings a very similar version of the Barney song. AH WAH DOO...DOO WAH ME!
VANESSA - Yikes! That one would definitely catch me offguard. I hope I don't hear that question anytime soon. I think we might have to go the soap route as well if it continued.
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Ruth
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Ruth - Thanks so much for reading along with me! I'm happy to have another visitor.