My wife likes to joke with me about my sense of humor. I guess that sounds strange when you write it down. Anyway, she knows what makes me laugh and the types of things that I think are funny. Admittedly, bathroom humor still makes me laugh like I am 11 years old again. Unintentionally funny things are often the funniest to me. Word play is funny.
But for me (according to my beautiful wife), the most humorous of all is the "what if this actually happened?" idea.
Here are some examples:
- What if our toddler developed a foul mouth? Actually, that already happened (please see my previous post on Our Trash-Talking Toddler )
- What if we could use "getting better" scenes from movies to sell real estate? (here's my take on that one - "Getting Better" Scenes from Movies - I wish we could use them with clients)
- What if I could develop a new language using only my eyebrows?
- What if, while watching that kindergartner dancing wildly and flailing her arms around at the church dinner, I just started clapping along and singing, "She's a maniac, maniac, on the floor! And she's dancing like she's never danced before!"? (I was sorely tempted a couple of weeks ago and came within a hair of actually doing this one)
At any rate, while I was on my way to pick up a buyer client today, I started thinking, "What if I could design my perfect day in real estate?"
Here's how mine looks:
I roll out of bed at 10:30am to greet the day. My wife and I enjoy a tasty breakfast that our children prepared for us. They clean the dishes while we watch a funny movie upstairs in the media room.
Wow - look at the time. It's almost 1:00. My clients will be here to pick me up in about half an hour. Just enough time to enjoy a long, leisurely shower. My clients arrive right on time, and we hit the road to look at the two homes I have chosen to show them. On the way, they laugh at every joke of mine, and we enjoy listening to some 80's tunes while discussing old Saturday Night Live episodes and Steve Martin standup routines.
"Oh, Jason, you are the best!", they exclaim in unison, as I humbly accept their compliment.
The first home is perfect for them, and I say so. They agree, and we head to the office to write it up. On the way, we stop in for an expensive lunch (on them, of course).
Back to business - I get the offer paperwork printed, and they insist on paying full price, cash, with a quick closing. I explain to them that they could probably get a few thousand off of the asking price, but they won't hear of it.
"Jason, we don't want to risk losing this home. You listened to our needs and wants and spent the time to find our dream home. We MUST pay their price, since it is so darn fair. Also, we really want to pay you a bonus of $XXX." Sorry for the XXX, but I must maintain some level of decorum, even in my dreamworld. Talking about specific sums of money might make me seem greedy. :-)
Alright, fair enough. I will do it their way. For once, I am not regretting this feeling.
After emailing the offer, I get a call before we have even gathered out things. We have a deal. They are so excited that they simply must hug me and kiss each other. Happier clients have never existed.
Side note: I forgot to mention that he looks like the guy pictured to the left, complete with tophat and tails.
Back in the limo, the buyer informs me that he wants me, and only me, to help him with his large-scale development project. Additionally, he gives me enough referrals to choke a horse, all before we arrive safely back at the doorstep of my home.
All told, our outing lasted about three hours.
I wish them a good afternoon, and I am free to spend the rest of the day playing with my kids and blogging with impunity. That night, my wife and I.....wait a minute, that's private!
So, what if all of that actually happened? It could, right?
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Funny, when I show them the perfect home as first one on the tour sheet they want to see 50 others to make sure I was right...then by the time they realize I was right, that one is sold and we have to start off all over again.
Then...they are short money for close of escrow and I give them my commission to gap the difference, then I help them move and my back goes out, and I can't work for 3 months...
Just kidding...it was the antithesis to your tale of glory....
Jason:
Hey congratulations on getting past the 13000 barrier in AR. You are on your way. Keep it up!
Jason, what a great blog! I don't know how you do it. I love your pictures, the way you weave it all in, the links to your previous blogs (good promo move there). I love it all!
Don't laugh, but I've had a few instances that came close to your perfect real estate day. We did miss the limo and the top hat though...
This is a crazy business; one never knows what's around the corner...
I'm dissappointed that you did not give them your rendition of "She's a maniac". I would love to have been there and watch you in action.
Keep blogging! You made my day with this one!
Jason, I'm concerned. Clearly you are not getting enough sleep and are sleepblogging. However, I will NOT be the one to wake you. Let the Dreamweaver Train roll on!
Yeah, obvious but fun.
DAVE - Yes, we are allowed to dream! Thanks for reading - glad you liked it!
ROBERTA - I don't want to wake up! Too much fun being had in my dream!
MICHAEL - Yikes! That does sound rough. I was happy to see that it was a joke.
ALAN - Yeah, I just passed 140,000 today! Thanks for noticing.
MIRELA - I actually had a REALLY good day today, which was what started my thoughts down this path ("What would make it even better?"). I am extremely grateful to you for saying how much you enjoy my posts. I really enjoy writing (clearly), and I like it even more when I feel like I am connecting with the reader. I know you may think I was joking, but I came VERY close to singing "Maniac" that night.
JAN - You caught me. Every day really is like this. I just didn't want to rub it in.
Jason,
I love your creativity!
Jason...dude, wake up... hey, I liked the 80's music part, that was funny. You do have a good imagination.... anyhow, get back to writing your next fairytale. ;o) Besides, dreams can come true. Do you want me to send you my ruby slippers? Wait, I shouldn't share this...
Jason, With all those entries on the GOT FEATURES contest that you entered I can't believe I'm here reading more of your posts, but alas, here I am. My fantasy is that somebody will volunteer to help me read all your posts. But your fantasy would be nice too.
Bill Roberts
Jason
Nice dream wish I could dream like that but can not afford too.
Dorothy...Dorothy....wake up, Dorothy!!!
LYNDA - Thank you! I appreciate that very much.
KATERINA - Thanks for your kind words. I will keep on hoping -
JEFF - Glad you liked it. As for the ruby slippers, what size are your shoes? Do I have to pay for them?
GEORGINA - I agree - why not dream big?
DAN - Thanks, buddy. It certainly doesn't hurt to think about it, right?
ADAM - I am used to people having man crushes on me around here. As for the Monopoly man, why wouldn't I have him dressed that way? He is the essence of class, wealth and good taste.
MISSY - I am NOT a morning person, as you might well have gathered. Thanks for stopping by!
VANESSA - Thanks so much for your compliments. As for these clients, I will send them along once they are finished purchasing here.
LARRY - I have had some clients drop in my lap like that, too, but never with the limo (yet).
DIANE - I am busted! I guess food is more important to me than I had realized. I think I just like the thought of food if someone else is preparing and/or paying for it.
BILL - There are only 275 of these posts - that shoudn't take more than a day or two, right? Just kidding. Thanks for your kind compliment, sir.
PAUL - Kind sir, would you do me the favor of never commenting on my posts again? I couldn't help myself. - Suds
JIM - Wow. I regularly sleep until 9am. I guess I am highly spoiled that way. We are night people in our family.
SARDI - As for the ruby slippers, I am waiting for a response on shoe size and cost. I will let you know how it goes. Thanks for your comments on my dream day! I just saw a pig glide past the window.
GARY - Thanks! Your comment made me a little sad. What do you mean?
LISA - It was all a dream after all, wasn't it? Oh well, I guess I'll have to return to my real life with a loving family, successful business, plenty of good friends, money in the bank, large home, two cars that are paid for, my health, and so on. That sucks, huh?
Speaking of Steve Martin - I saw him in Reno when he was just starting out. He was jumping around with a fake arrow through his head. He was friendly and talked for awhile, bet you can't get near him now, not even on a "perfect day".
Sounds like your real life is perfect.
KATHLEEN - Yes, the current Steve Martin is much different than the Steve Martin from the 70's. I agree - I have a great life and I am truly blessed.
GINGER - It may shock you to hear that they regularly sleep in until around 10am. I am amazed when they get up before me. Homeschooling rules! Paul is definitely trouble.
I want one of those too! After 32 years doing this I think I deserve it and so do you. I'll let you know when my happens, please do the same...nothing like positive thinking :). L
PS, where do you get your pictures/graphics, they are great!
wOw....What a life........ I'll take anew brief case like that one daily.... :)
Jason..What a nice dream....what makes a dream nice is that its not normal //// thats why its good to come home from vactions....Your perfect day would be a nice break for most of us..I really liked the part where you were picked up in a limo/......that is really in my plan for later on this year...That offer to handle the whole development sounded cool too...That actually happend to my bro in law..over 120 high end homes..he got well real quick like in your dream!!!
I might go back and read this again!!