This past Sunday, after church, I was talking with a friend of mine for awhile, and my wife and kids were at the church playground. My wife later related a brief story to me that I thought was hysterical and I wanted to share it here.
My son, who is barely nine, is a very big kid (just over 5 feet tall, wearing a men's size 9 shoe), but he is still really just a little boy inside. His little sisters were playing on the playground, and he was pestering me a little bit because he was bored and hungry. Since I wasn't ready to leave yet, he finally gave up and started playing on the playground, which is really set up for preschoolers and toddlers.
He went up (stepped over) the small ladder on the Little Tikes plastic playscape (similar to the one pictured to the right), then went under the little hole which leads to the slide and sat down. At this point, he was sitting at the top of the slide and his feet were about six inches from the ground at the bottom.
His reaction was priceless and perhaps better when delivered "live":
"Um.........whee?"
I could totally relate, since I was always the tallest kid in class myself.
Group photo day? I'll just go to the back and stand in the middle.
Sit ‘N' Spin? How about "Sit ‘N' Slowly Turn and Scrape"?
Monkey bars? Let's call it "walking along in the gravel while touching the bars along the top".
I won't even start on swings, see-saws, and other playground amenities that are really made for the very small.
On a completely unrelated note (nice segue, right?), my wife and I had a date night the other night and we were discussing what we must sound like to our kids when we are talking about pop culture or any other non-kid-related issues:
ME: Did you see the bearded boring man who blah blah blah economy blah news blah election?
PAM: I heard that the Britney was with the baby and the man!
TOGETHER: HAHAHAHAHA!
ME: The new computer thing is really wow! Blah Hillary Clinton blah.
PAM: Did you pick up the card at the pharmacy blah blah?
ME: No, it was your turn to pick up the blah this time.
PAM: Fine. I also need to set up an appointment to .................."
At that point, their ability to hear ceases altogether, and the words become a mindless drone in the background, or perhaps we sound like Charlie Brown's parents on the classic "Peanuts" shows ("Wa Waa wa wah wah wah").
And I have the nerve to wonder why they don't usually respond the first time when I speak to them.
Thanks for reading!
If you enjoyed this post, why not connect with me elsewhere or subscribe via email?
If you're looking for a home in the Austin area, you can also visit my primary Austin real estate website at www.austintexashomes.com. If you're interested in social media training, visit 210 Consulting. Thanks!
Hey Jason, You don't need to wonder what they think of your conversations cause you as parents are,
#1 OLD
#2 GEEKS
#3 OLD
LOL
Thanks for sharing, Jason. I can't even fathom the height issue of your son (I maxed out at 5'6"), but I could just image his enthusiasm - or lack thereof - on that slide.
KATHY - I thought the title might draw in a few new readers. Thanks for the encouragement. Yes, my son is hilarious! He actually wanted me to include this story on my blog.
CHRISTOPHER - Yes, it's not an exciting "ride" on the slide when you basically just stand up.
Jason,
Your kids posts always crack me up, I can so appreciate the humor. I can tell you what my daughter thinks when we are speaking adult conversation at home, or better yet, when we have Journey on in the car because she voices it very loudly, "Oh, come on, can we listen to something in the 2000's please".
Ahhhhh, did I think this time was going to come this soon, No Way- She is 10 1/2 going on 13:-)
And just today, I think I decided I need to start imitating my nearing 3 year old son. If he doesn't like your answer to a yes or no question, he just keeps asking the question...over, and over, and over, 'til he gets an answer he is satisified with...hmmm....wonder if that would work with customer service at my cell phone provider.
MIDORI - I was sitting in my home office chair the other day, and it came apart completely and I fell over. It had come unwelded where the seat was attached to the base. There was really nothing to do but throw it away, since it was from Office Depot and didn't cost that much to begin with.
REBECCA - Thanks for your encouraging words. I have started to see glimpses of this behavior in my son, too. Not too long ago, my darling six-year old daughter disagreed with my decision not to stop for ice cream, and she called it "lame". With regard to your 3-year old son, when my son was a toddler, he gave our family a phrase that my mom still uses for people she is trying to get rid of: "Go away from me."
Jason... I could relate to the height thing when growing up.... it sucked at times, especially when kids made fun of you. In regards to your discussion with your wife... maybe I am tired some, but you lost me a little.. lol
Jason... I just love your posts! You will find the craziest thing to write about!
Susan
OK, That was a funny little ride at your childs expense - WEEEEEE!
Todd
SUSAN - Pretty much. I am glad that you enjoy them!
TODD - Yeah, that "ride" didn't last too long. It was more like standing up.
Um...whee?
That's the Crouch comic delivery gene in full force, amigo.
JOEY - He definitely seems to have "the gene", and I look forward to years of laughter in our house. I loved your rap lyrics!
MELISSA - Thanks for your comments. I'm sorry to say that my son is about your height right now. I remember when I passed my grandmother's height (she was also 5'1"). I think I was 11. My son seems to be much larger than I was at this age.
KELLY - Thanks! The "Sit 'n' Scrape" is my wife's joke, so I can't take credit for that one.
ALAN - Keep on racking up the points, since I was the one who invited you here.
BEN - Great stuff! I love the comic -
PAUL - My son will decimate you in any challenge that you name, physical or mental.
VIRGINIA - I have thought the same thing many times. Part of that comes from the fact that I really don't like most of the sitcoms these days. :-)
SANDRA - People look at us carefully when we are getting discount prices for "under 10" or "under 12", but they haven't even questioned it, since we are all very tall in our family.
DEB - I'm happy that you got a good laugh from this post. My son is hysterical! I like your story about the chair. Are you tall now? Probably so.
It worked...got their attention. LOL