For this month's Inspired by Song! contest, which runs for a few more days, we challenged our ActiveRain friends to write on the topic of a personal theme song. This is my own post on this topic, although I am not eligible to win, since I am a judge.
At the risk of alienating some of my readers, and perhaps even some of my friends here on AR, I want to share some of the details of my faith in God with you. If you know me or read my blog regularly, you will not be surprised by that part. However, there are some personal details revealed here that will simply make some people uncomfortable, and for that I apologize in advance.
Over the past few months, I watched with pain in my heart as one of very best friends, David Wilder, died of throat and neck cancer. Even before David was ill, I could have pointed to him as one of my spiritual mentors. After he was diagnosed, I watched my friend battle against the illness that would eventually take him from us.
In his death, David had an even more profound impact on me. He taught me how to live as a follower of Jesus, then, later, he taught me how to die with grace. To some of you, the next sentence may seem strange; to others, it will make perfect sense. Watching David in his final days on earth and coping with the aftermath actually made me fear death less. It also made me start to question what I was doing with my life with regard to affecting others tangibly within the church and in the world at large. I am going to help with a new church that we are starting in the fall, and I hope to reach many lives with the gospel of Jesus Christ. If this phrase is foreign to you, the gospel can be explained somewhat quickly by reading John 3:16:
"For God so loved the world, that he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
Some of you may recall seeing the guy in the rainbow afro wig at sporting events in the 1970's holding up the "John 3:16" signs. He was doing his part to spread the Word. I don't have a rainbow afro wig (yet), but I feel that it is my responsibility to share this, too.
Years ago, I used to be consumed with fears of death, and my wife (who was my girlfriend then) was able to lead me to Jesus. I was open to this, and the Lord was able to remove this fear that night, but it would still re-surface from time to time, usually in the middle of the night, when I was at my most vulnerable. A few years ago, I yielded my life to God completely and told Him that I now understood that no matter what happened, I would be content in knowing that He was with me. Since then, my fears of the unknown have vanished.
Through my life, I have dealt with my share of challenges, including my parents' divorce when I was about two, to an abusive stepfather, to my own struggles with mental illness in my early 20's, and more.
My wife wrote something on her blog recently that is probably the nicest compliment I have ever received:
"When I met Jason, I had a vision of the man he could become. He is now that man."
For those of you who don't believe that she wrote this, feel free to call me and you can speak with her on the phone to confirm it. :-) But seriously, kinder words were never spoken.
The point of telling you this is that I did not become the man I am today by myself. God has shaped me over the past 17 years (since I really met Him for the first time). I obviously still have issues that I am working on. My temper is too quick sometimes, I lust after the wrong things, I worry too much, and so on. However, I am improving with God's help.
The song I have chosen for this post is Casting Crowns "And Now My Lifesong Sings". The lyrics pretty much sum up the changes that have occurred in my life since I became a Christian. I was lost and floundering with a very selfish focus back in 1991. I had little true hope in my life, despite outward appearances. I was blind to the goodness around me. Although I seemed happy, my heart felt flat and dead inside back then. My priorities were far different.
Now, I have a deep and abiding joy in my heart because of my faith, despite some of the recent challenges I have had, including:
- Caring for my mother-in-law in our home full-time starting last fall
- Losing my friend to cancer in March
- Losing another friend to suicide this past month
This song pretty much sums up my feelings. I hope you will take 4 minutes and 4 seconds out of your busy day to check it out. If you have any questions, let me know. I have no doubt that someone will feel that this is not appropriate to post here, and I understand. Believe me, I wouldn't share it if I didn't think it was important.
Enjoy:
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Jason- You are very brave to write this post and standing firm in your testimony about God and our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ makes you a whole man, a warrrior in these latter days to stand for truth and righteousness.
The spirit is moving us these days, I wrote a very spiritual post on Sunday night. I felt moved to write it. I knew I was just as you were at risk of alienating some readers. And I did, I lost some subscribers because of writing about my belief in God and what I felt in my heart. You may not, or you may, but so be it. It is all worth it in the end, because it is our Savior we must stand before as we move through the veil not anyone else. I could never turn my back on someone who actually bled from every pore and died for little ol' me. I stand all amazed that he should care enough to die for me.
I am very proud of you for writing this post and I am sure your wife is too.
Jason - Thanks so much for your testimony. I felt the Holy Spirit here with me while I was reading your words. Thank you so much for opening your heart and allowing us to learn more about the marvelous work of our Father in your life. God bless you Jason.
Jason,
Beautiful witness and 'Lifesong'...When I was a very young child in 1st grade the catechism question was, "Why did God make me"?...and the answer which I still remember today was, "God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him forever in the next!!! That's the most fundamental truth I've ever learned!!! Thanks, Fran
Jason, that is a perfect song choice! Thank you so much for sharing your story and your faith in God. I understand perfectly your sentiment about death. When we die in Jesus Christ - it is only the beginning! All our shortcomings and struggles make us who we are today, and when we give that to Jesus, he will break it down and reform us. Thanks...
Awwww jeeze Jason ... now I'm crying here ....
Awwww jeeze Jason ... now I'm crying here ....
Jason - In Luke 9:26 it says - If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him... Your post proves that you are not ashamed of Him, you are truly an inspiration! God bless you.
Jason,
I believe that your message here will touch many that would never otherwise have this message brought to them.
God blessed you with the ability to write with the eloquence to touch lives and change them.....thank you for your testimony in this post.
Jason, excellant post and song, thank you for sharing your faith in Jesus Christ, and for your testimony. Have a blessed week.
Jason - what an excellent song choice! Never be ashamed of your faith in Jesus. He's the best and most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. God is indeed up to something!
What a testimony if people do unsubscribe...Jesus said we'd be persecuted for our faith. I'm glad you're letting your light shine!
Jason,
Even if you do alienate someone (and I find that highly unlikely) we know that "all things work together for good to them who love God, and to them who are called according to His purpose..." Good old Romans, chapter 8, verse 28.
Thanks for posting!
Mike in Tucson
Jason, Great post, very truthful and powerful. I have never been very spiritual, even though I was raised in a strong Catholic family. I am very moved by your faith and the song is beautiful!
Jason. One awesome post! Thank you for sharing your faith with us. You are a very blest man.
Don R.
Jason- Very touching and very inspiring post. Thank you for having the courage to open up and share with us here.
Best wishes,
Scott
I think messages of love are always welcome, Jason. You do what you gotta do and say what you are moved to say! It's all good when motivated by love.
Thanks to everyone who has commented on this post to this point. I would imagine that there are a lot of people who read (or skimmed) the post, but didn't feel like commenting. Perhaps it made a difference to someone. For the record, I lost one subscriber, but I gained three!
Jason, Kudos to you and congrats on finding such a wonderful person or people, namely God and your beautiful bride. It's a wonderful post you wrote, God works in a mysterious way as proven in yourself, The Man!
P.S. I'll be watching closely for that wigged guy in the stands! Grin.
Duane
Jason - Thank you for this truly inspiring post. I hope the new church you are helping with will experience great success. "The harvest is great but the workers are few."
Hi Jason -- Wow, I just found your post. You lay it out from your heart and as a Christian warrior in a way. Dr. John suggested I quote something very important that you wrote: "A few years ago, I yielded my life to God completely and told Him that I now understood that no matter what happened, I would be content in knowing that He was with me. Since then, my fears of the unknown have vanished." Now, that, Jason, is PROFOUND! God bless you!
Jason my friend, one of your more beautiful stories to share with us. Thanks it was the perfect way to go to bed with your thoughts and song in my head. Night, Liz
I will admit that I was surprised that this post received as many comments as it did, but it makes me happy. As it turns out, I actually gained 5 subscribers! Thanks to all of your for your support. I hope someone who is lost can be "found" through this post, as the song mentions. This is merely a seed that is planted - time will tell.
Well Jason, I guess I wont be using that song for mine now... LOL Great post!
Jason, what a beautiful tribute. Pam knows a good thing...
We'll be seeing you around your birthday...really. Later in the rain~Deb
Jason,
This is my first day on AR and I came across your blog as I was setting up my pages. I am also in the Austin area and I also have a strong faith in Jesus Christ. Your blog was a blessing. Being in this business has increased and stretched my faith more than ever. God is always searching for people to share His love with the world and it looks like He can trust you to do that. I know that in my own business He merely uses real estate as the vehicle for me to share the love of Christ to those who need it the most. Be Blessed!
I don't know you, but have noticed your abilities with words, etc. from reading some of your blogs --many are very funny, some serious..I just want to tell you that I really enjoyed reading your post and hearing the song -- as it touched my heart. We all have to put our faith in God and sometimes that is hard, with everything tragic that may be going on around us. I, also have a good friend that is currently dieing of cancer after having just lost my mom in January, and dad in 05. I am trying to be a better person and trying to be more of an instrument for Christ and his word. Thank you for sharing your very meaninful words with all of us out in AR land..
Hallelujah Jason ! May Your Life Song Sing to MANY...
Be Joyous, Not Sorry or leary to offend.
For there is no greater purpose on this earth than to increase the population of HEAVEN
G-d Bless You
Sincerely,
Grace
Jason, I usually comment without reading the prior comments. In this instance I did read the comments and I agree it was a heartfelt post. I hope that your words make an impact on anyone who is searching. It is like being lifted out of the mud and the mire.
Jason, I say we change the rules and let you WIN this one! Your faith and devotion are inspiring and I am sure you touched many lives by posting this blog. I don't believe that you could alienate anyone by stating your true convictions! Thank you for sharing your story.
In his death, David had an even more profound impact on me.
Hi Jason,
That's a deep statement. Sometimes death is how God speaks loudly to us. For example, the son of Greg Laurie was killed a few weeks ago in a car accident. That was a wake up call for many people. Greg spoke about his son at the Harvest Crusade on Friday night. As you can imagine, it was a powerful message.
Jason,
I have learned one thing and that is when people come to know Jason Crouch they know the inner man and not just the face that goes with the name.
Jason, Sorry to hear about your friend David that is tough when someone close like that is leaves us. Casting crowns is a great band I love their music, just saw Mercy me and David Crowder in Santa Barbara a few weeks it ago a great concert.
God bless, Dan
Jason, God is smiling because you have acknowledged him. It is so hard to see our friends go but yet, when they know the Lord, it is a day of rejoicing, in celebration of life, the Lord Jesus Christ and His Return.
My Dad keeled over almost one year ago. He made it to the bedroom because Mom is 4'10" and he's 6'2" and all he could think was that she if he passed out, she wouldn't be able to get him into bed. He was roughly 5 minutes from meeting God, his mother, dad, sisters and my mother shook him and realized that she was "loosing" him. Right here and now I will say that God's timing is His timing, not ours. Dad came back but what is so true of my Dad is that when he was in the ambulance to the hospital, his thoughts were "If I"m going to go, I'm taking someone with me." Dad led one of the attendants to the Lord on the way to the hospital! More amazing is that he led one of the nurses in the hospital to the Lord. The funny side was that the "boys", his grandsons, had "x" amount of days before deerhunting season on the nurses board! They changed it everyday while Dad was in the hospital for two weeks. God is so good even during difficult times such as your friend and I know what you are talking about. My Dad, well, the preacher ended up talking that Sunday about the Grace of God and my Dad. Why? The preacher went to "uplift" my Dad and instead, the preacher went away blessed.
Your testimony in words, actions, in your heart, your love for God, shows. You wouldn't have even had to write what you wrote because your Walk with God is reflected. However, thank you for sharing an obstacle that God enlightened you, the rest of us and for your dear wife, who loves you and loved you way back when.
God's love is so Great, so Pure. He is unfailing. Thank you, Jason for sharing your words and song.