I have a friend who, for the sake of this post, I am going to call Ted. I don't actually know any Teds, so we should be safe using this name. I am sure you know someone like Ted. He's the kind of guy who manages to focus on the negative, no matter how well things are going for him. Also, he is certain to point out how badly YOUR business must be going, with the current economy:
ME: Hey, Ted. How's it going today?
TED: Pretty good. I guess you must be just about broke, what with the real estate market in the tank, huh?
ME: Actually, this has been our 
strongest month in awhile. I am working on a couple of closings, and my agents have been busy.
TED: Well, don't get too confident. The Dow took another nosedive yesterday.
ME: Frankly, I stopped watching the Dow a long time ago. Every time that I hear about it dropping a lot, it seems like it is at the same level where I saw it before.
TED: They're saying gas prices may go to FIVE dollars a gallon in the wake of the recent hurricane.
ME: I hope it doesn't get that high, but I suppose we don't have a lot of choice in the matter.
TED: Also, I was reading in the paper that real estate sales are down 20% in Austin from last year.
ME: I call this "how to lie with statistics". Comparing it to last year makes for interesting newspaper fodder, but the trend in Austin is still strong. 2007 was a relatively good sales year, so the fact that it has dropped off doesn't really surprise me. Prices actually went up a little during the same period.
TED: I have hemorrhoids.
ME: What? Why are you telling me this?
TED: I ran out of negative things to say, and it was the first thing to come to mind.
ME: You have made me feel tired, Ted. See you later.
Ted is the kind of guy who can make you feel awkward and sad for having a newborn baby, or getting a big commission, or winning a gold medal. He drains you, and you likely want to avoid him with every ounce of your being.
I try really hard not to be like Ted, even when things seem to be a struggle. I can assure you that you probably won't gain any new clients by focusing on the "cons" of the current market. There are always plenty of arguments in favor of making a move now, especially for buyers (low interest rates, more inventory, etc.). For sellers, the key is to be honest with them about their prospects and pricing. If they need to sell, take the listing. If they are just seeing what will happen, run like the wind.
I was taught to always say, "Great!" when someone asks how business is going. This strikes me as disingenuous, and I can't bring myself to do that if it isn't true all the time. However, I do talk about which things are going well, rather than burdening them with my problems or concerns. If sales are slow one month, I might say, "Business is slower than it was a couple of years ago, but we're having a pretty good year overall. The market in Austin has held up remarkably well. If things improve nationally, we are positioned for some great years ahead."
I am not advocating that you present sunshine and rainbows to every client, but don't focus on the lemons if you can avoid it. No one likes hearing about Ted's hemorrhoids.
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Crouch
What's up stranger?
Think of it this way.....the Japanese symbol for crisis and opportunity are one in the same, so over the years I've always maintained that no matter how bad things may be, I'm thankful that I have plenty of phone calls, repeat clients, and the ability to generate more business regardless of market conditions.
I'm still tolerant of the 'Teds' of the world, but I don't entertain conversations with them anymore these days. Their mentality is too toxic for my liking.
Hope you're well buddy.....
Hi Jason, Great post, it is so true some people are so negative. It is difficult to stay positive sometimes, but it is essential to your mental health.
All the best!
Jason,
I don't like to blow smoke up someone's skirt.
But negativity is a downer.
I totally know some people like this. Just stay focused on the positive and positive things will come your way. Hope you have a great day. - Kim White
We've all known folks like that. One of them is the Majority Leader of the House of Representatives.
BILL! It's great to see you here, man. I feel the same way you do about Ted - I am tolerant, but I kinda keep my distance.
I don't want to be like Ted either. Times are tough but we will get through it.
Jason: We need more positivity! And now! Thanks for pointing out that focusing on the silver lining instead of the dark cloud is simply a different way of looking at life. We could all spend wasted energy focusing on the negative, but honestly, this market is fraught with great opportunity; you just have to search a little harder to find it!
"I have hemroids" LOL!! That was hilarious. I agree, you shouldn't outright lie, but there's always something good to say. We're still breathing and finding time for AR, right?
Oh Jason (my mentor in writing) you are too funny - love the way you posted the conversation - brilliant actually! I just can't understand what someone gets out of being so negative and wanting to spread it to others. Trust me - there are days when I could complain a lot but instead I exercise, write and pray vs. spreading that out into my family and work life. Perhaps you should refer "Ted" to my recent blog and I'll fix him for you. After I'm done with him he'll be skipping around Austin telling everyone how great the market is! Hope you get to see my lastest blogs - I always value your opinion but only if you agree with me. LOL ~Anne Marie
Jason, we all know Ted! Everybody knows Ted! I wonder what Ted had to say back in 2004? I had a girlfriend who was daydreaming about having cancer, and she said "what if I had ovarian cancer?" and I said "What?! why would you even say that, and why does it have to be ovarian cancer?" and she said "Well ... that's the worst there is!". So if she is going to get cancer ... she will darn well have the very worst there is! I loved her very much and tried and tried to uplift her, but she drained me dry. Sorry for the long story.
Teds are a pain in the Butt, pun intended.
Attitude can make or break a person and the positive peope seem to make it happen no matter the situation.
So funny to read this post. I have been working in my yard this afternoon and wanting to write about attitude, I think you covered all the bases. I have a few Teds in my office, I run in the other direction. I don't want them to get any of their "stuff" on me.
Ted is an Energy Vampire. They try to suck the good energy right out of you and will bleed you dry if you let them. I have no more room in my life for that -- see ya, Ted!
Hi J :)
Jason, I try to annoy the Teds of the world with positive energy and enthusiasm. The more negative they are, then more upbeat and positive I am. It tends to repell them and they find someone else to commiserate with.
Ugh. My mom is a Ted. My husband has Tedd'ish moments. He was very Ted in real estate, but being W2'd has had a good effect on his Ted'ness - so it can be cured. I think my mom has a terminal case of Ted though.
I am sure you know someone like Ted. He's the kind of guy who manages to focus on the negative, no matter how well things are going for him.
We have a "Ted" in our building. I walked up to the door one fantastic summer morning, as he was standing on the sidewalk, and commented to him about the beautiful day. His response? "Yeah, but now you have to watch out for skin cancer." :)
I know more than one Ted. Ted would complain if you gave him a $100 bill. What do I have to do for it? And can't it be 5 $20s? Nobody wants to take the hundeds anymore. This is going to be a pain to break.
The Lemonade stand that my 8-year old daughter is running right now is doing a brisk business and she is all smiles. I hope Ted comes by with his $100 bill. I'll break it for him.
The Lemonade stand that my 8-year old daughter is running right now is doing a brisk business and she is all smiles. I hope Ted comes by with his $100 bill. I'll break it for him.
The Lemonade stand that my 8-year old daughter is running right now is doing a brisk business and she is all smiles. I hope Ted comes by with his $100 bill. I'll break it for him.
It takes more energy to be negative then positive that's for sure! I try to steer clear of Teds at all costs. Ted has hemorrhoids....I'm laughing and everyone in the office is looking at me....Thanks for making me look like a crazy woman Jason!
Jason - are you saying you don't want to hear about MY hemerrhoids??? LOL good post -
What a debbie downer! I always try to focus on the positive when people ask how business is going too. Not always easy, but it's a good habit to get in to!
KEVIN - I could not agree more with your statement. Thanks!
BRENDA - That pretty much sums it up, doesn't it?
Jason,
For many of us our markets have slowed - some more than others. But that's what self-correction is all about. It's part of the business, so we have to roll with it.
For me, personally, I'm off quite a bit from last year, but that's ok. It's ok because it's temporary and not worth getting in a knot about. Being negative and acting all sullen is not the way to overcome a poor market.
Now is the time to perfect marketing techniques, learn more about effective advertsing, etc. It's not necessarily the end of the world, but some people would think 10 closings a month is a poor market and try to make everyone else feel bad because of it.
These people are best left ignored. They certainly don't help the cause.
Hey, Jason. What a "Debbie Downer" he is. I know of someone like that and I had to stop reading their emails to me. Thanks for sharing, Jim
I agree - I'm not comfortable replying GREAT to an inquiry either - however, I've found that an enthusiatic UNBELIEVABLE seems to cover all the bases. That way you'll always be telling the truth and Ted can take it any way he wants. How yoo doin? Un-be-freakin-lievable! Thanks for askin'.
Only you can write such a funny and positive post about such a negative person! You rock and thanks again for inspiring the opening sentences of my last post!
I was able to say great until I realized we were having a yearlong WINTER in our market, so I got a little down (Um, big understatement there) but I still look to the good. So here is my positive thought for the night:
"THIS CAN'T LAST FOREVER, RIGHT????"
I've been dealing with one of these lately myself. I can usually remain pretty positive but it has been an ongoing 'eyore'. I need to recharge now.
Positive people: you cannot make someone else happy. Isn't going to happen. If they are negative they've decided to be negative. You are best to ignore them. I know it sounds harsh but it really is true. You stooping to their saddness won't help either of you and you'll only feel worse.
It is a good idea to be prepared to speak about the things that are going well. It persuades against your credibility to lie about how things are going. I do not think many people are fooled anyway.
"It is tough, but we are closing some loans and helping a lot of people fix their credit to get qualified. In the past they would have pushed me to get them a loan now, rather than allow me to take the time to help them qualify for a good loan. Now they are letting me really help them."
That is a positive I think.
Richard
Hi Jason. Funny post.
Thanks for writing.
Ken
I was a friend of Ted's but I had to cut him loose a few years ago. I couldn't handle the negativity.
lol Jason... there are tons of "Teds" in my office - which is exactly why I try to stay out of there as much as possible. :) Nice post.
Oh lord I think I know Ted's cousin! You could always do what I do and ask "Would you like some cheese with that whine." But I'm irreverant!
Thanks for making laugh so hard!
Jason - I love your positive attitude!
LOL Jason, you are spot on with that dialogue; I know people who are just like that and always try to bring you down. I just try to stay on the sunny-side and avoid them as much as possible!
I also answer that business is great when asked. No need to make thing sound bad, even if they have been.
jason- I'm with you I really hate those Ted's. I don't even watch the news anymore but maybe once a week just so I am not totally out of the loop but still I can do without teh Ted's of life.
HI Jason! Glad to hear things are going very well for you. It was interesting to read you say 'great' when someone asks how things are going. I do the same thing (it's like we have the same brain. kidding). Anyway, you get quite the reaction when you say 'great'. Things could certainly be better, but I am still in business and things are still moving forward. I am still in a career that I love. My favorite response to 'how is business' is one that I heard years ago. The response is 'Fantastic! But its getting better'. If nothing else, it starts a deeper conversation.
I think some people want to know that someone else has it worst than they do! I will NEVER be the one to give into it! Real Estate is allways different and changing! We won't ever get bored and we'll never stop learning!
Its hard to be around people who are always negative and its annoying to be around people who are chipper oblivious to the world. Everyone gets in bad moods but you have to avoid the ones that are always in a funk...
Jason, I always say Great when someone ask me how my business is going. I think our attitude is a choice we can choose to be positive or we can choose to be negative. I also try to surround myself with positive people. Now there's not much you can do about your relatives but you sure can your friends.
Ted would complain if you buried him with a new shovel.
That's a very interesting way to make your point on negative attitude. I like it.
Good Job Jason, I was always told to say when ask how is the market to just "unbelievable" whether it is good or bad it's unbelievable. I believe you can make your own market, when it's slow just double up. We got do what we got to do to survive. Thanks again for the blog.
I love to run into "ted" and watch his head explode when you don't fall for his negative vibes.
Ted aka Eyore. Negative is a downer and can definitely drain your energy. When asked about the local market here I say it depends on the specific area, overall healthier than most others. I am grateful for every sale I get and that I am still selling real estate.
I believe that one should focus and talk about where he wants to be and let that mentality guide the way. I believe that I will be where I believe I will be!
Jason
YOU ARE RIGHT. Keep on Doing What you do best: Staying positive , loving your family, and working hard.
I'll bet when I check on you 10 years from now you are still in business!
Hi Jason... Loved the post! I think you chose the right name, because it sure sounds like dealing with Ted would get Tedious very quickly!
Funny post - made me laugh.
When people want to know how I am doing in "this market" - I tell them I am busy enough to stay out of trouble. They laugh and it is over.
If I am feeling down and I don't want anyone to know and they ask how I'm doing - I say "wow, you wouldn't believe it" and change the subject. Works.
Thanks for the chuckle. I am soooo opposite of that - I find it hard to take.
This is for Ted.
I'm pretty sure I know Ted! The world is full of 'Teds'...and they will always try to steal your smile. I won't let the 'Teds' of this world get me down. Life is too short for that. GBU, BigBro!
Jsaon... Awesome post! I know many Ted's, Ive even meet them on the streets especially when they know what I do for a living. Yes there are those that are having a hard time, and things are different than a few years ago. But with an attitude like Ted's I wouldn't still be writing loans! I love lemonade!
Jason-Good post. I guess we all have our Ted's. There is one Ted in my area that I really hate to get a phone call from. This Ted is a downer and hates Real Estate. This Ted will unload all her problems on you in a matter of three minutes. You really feel like screaming and telling them you do not want to hear them, but you be nice and hope she does not call you back any time soon..
Funny, but so true - some people have a bad habit of always being negative - run away, run away!
Jason - I completely agree with you. I am generally an optimistic person and prefer not to listen to someone who has nothing but negative things to talk about.
Realistic is one thing; always negative is another. I always feel empathy for people who look at everything negatively as that would lead to a very long and depressing life!
Jason, I have began to ask if the sellers need to sell and if they tell me no then my response to them is WAIT but if they need to sell than we sit down and talk.. BTW, Tom Hopkins teaches to use the term "Unbelievable" when ask how the market is. So if the market is up or down you will always be right.
There is a Ted in my office. (Not his real name, so I'm safe :-) I walk the other way, take the other set of stairs, or simply leave when I see him coming. Too darned much negativity for me!
YOu have an amazing way of tying your story lines to the subject matter. You and Gary both. We think similarly, for all those panicking about the stock market, plenty of opportunities await around the corner which smart investors are grabbing onto. This is not the time to panic, unless of course all your cards are dealt, but instead a time to make wise decisions.
I think I have a few TEDS in MY OFFICE - I want to send them this blog and save myself the effort of having that conversation with them! Thanks!
Sounds like someone that I listen to everyday. Just trying to tune him out is a full time job.
Jason, boy oh boy, I try to avoid Teds at all costs. Who needs the constant downers?
Jason,
I would rather not even address those comments. I just continue to do what I can to make people happy. Either they want to do some business or go out for a drink. I can't keep worrying about news about how bad or even how good the market is...if I'm able to do business with someone who is comfortable then that's all I need.
Justin: I wonder sometimes if the Teds of the world do it out of fear. What's really lying beneath all of that negativity? But I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist so better for me to move on as quickly as possible from the Teds so as to keep my energy from being drained anymore than absolutely necessary.
Folks like Ted, drain the energy right out of me. I see their number on caller ID and many times let it go to voice mail, I just can't stomach it at the time.
I've had a few Teds in my life that I eventually had to say good-bye to. My wise old grandmother taught me to surround myself with positive people who complemented my weaknesses and whose weaknesses were complement by my strengths. It's always seemed to work.
Hi Jason - These folks drive me crazy! Only happy when they are spreading their "negative vibes" all across the field. Lookin' for anyone who will listen & join in on their misery!
Morning Jason, Is it a law somewhere that every office has to have a " Ted " ? Looking back over the years I can just about remember each office as defined by that negative person you speak of. Good selling to you.
I saw Ted yesterday and I tazed him.
I think I know Ted. But I don't let him get me down!!
There is always something good to talk about somewhere -- sometimes you just have to look real hard to find it. ~ Evelyn
Jason,
You could hang Ted with a new rope & he still wouldn't be happy.
Hey Jason
Let's call your attitude reality based optimism. I work this way too. If things are not going well or there is a problem, it needs to be acknowledged but presented with solutions that may help or a way to see things in a positive light. Ted needs to lighten up. I call his type E-yore and they are hard to be around. Great blog once again.
You know, this post made me rather thirsty...Anyone have some lemonade?
there is always one person in every crowd just like Ted. If we were to cater to him, trying to win him over and trying to make him look at things in a positve light, we would be neglecting all the others who are positive and optomistic. its not worth it!
Thanks Jason, I've needed a good 'belly-laugh' for several days, and you gave it to me. Keep up the excellent work, my friend!
Jason- This post definitely hit a chord! I just closed on a client that was a Ted, and I haven't slept so well in months! Sometimes you don't realize how draining these types are on you physically and emotionally.
Jason:
You are a great writer...your posts are so interesting, funny, and have meaning. Thanks for this reminder today--even in times of trouble, you can find something positive about the situation. I agree that it's important to stay positive and upbeat and look for the good instead of the bad.
--Anne Rains
LadyofRealty.blogspot.com
www.TheRainsTeam.com
I try to avoid the whiners in the office as well. Who needs to hear them say how business sucks. Go out and do something, or do something else, but stop COMPLAINING all the time!!
It IS draining to hear someone continuously talk negative. There used to be an agent in our office....just like that. I finally told the agent that I need to stay away from all that....never talked to me again. Maybe that was a good thing :)
Great post..i think we all know some people like Ted. I do try to stay as far away as possible from those people. Thanks for the post.
Jason, were you in my office this week? I can't seem to run out of the negativity. It's just too draining and toxic. My question is, if we, real estate professionals, do not speak well of our industry, who will? My advice is, stay far away from them. Nice post, Jason.
Is Ted really my father-in-law?
The Ted's of the world require to much energy! I like your positive approach without being phony!
Great advice Jason, NEVER, NEVER let your clients know if business isn't what you want it to be. NEVER! Business can be great OR unbelievable. I think this year has been mostly unbelievable!!
Here's to a great rest of '08
... your buddy Ted just called and said he got some medicated wipes to clear up his 'problem'.... but even Preparation H cant change the negative attitude that some people carry around with them each day. Good post Jason, always be the glass half full guy !
Great post, Jason. I agree, we all know people like "Ted". I think we'd all be smart to avoid them like the plague!
Jason, what a great conversation you had there with yourself. Someone once told me "attitudes are contagious -- make sure that yours is worth catching" and I've tried to remember it through the years. Too bad about Ted -- he just doesn't get it but his life could be SO much better!
For every negative thought that enters your head, there is at least one if not more positive thoughts that can be spun from that very situation....yes the market appears to be bad....but....buyers are out and about, interest rates have just gone down and I offer cash back to my buyers...they are flocking to me! (even if they aren't, they will....your thinking positive thoughts)...its just a matter of time that turning the negatives into positives change your business....
I personally like the response OUTSTANDING to the question of how are you. Makes me want to yell come on now. I do agree it is best to say good things in response and count your blessings for the day. Beware of the person you ask them how are you, and they answer with their life story. Take care.
While I must say that realism is on a par with optimism as being an important factor in success, yet remaining positive is a good thing... Sometimes things require a bit of objectivity though, which may not always be an uplifing experience.
So we must remain resilient, and as much as possible, look to the bright side. But keep our realistic hats in hand... ready for use...
Great post.
Very good post! You really mixed humour in well to an otherwise negative subject. Toxic/negative people are a drain; I don't understand why people choose to be this way. Every cloud has a silver lining...it is easy to find...just look up.
I agree and wish more of us in our industry would take your attitude! We all see the housing outlooks and bad news, so there is no reason for any of us to dwell on the negatives. When our clients ask how we are doing, we should stress the positive aspects of the economic problems, such as interest rates, great time to buy, new loan programs, etc. None of our clients wants to do business with a broker or agent who talks negatively about our industry. We, as professionals, need to stress the positive; if we act as though business is good, business will be good! Terri White, Broker/Owner Las Vegas Properties
Good Post, When I get the question how is Real Estate - I answer- I am busy, which I am busy not always doing Real Estate. I like the answer unbelievable.
I have a friend who is a Ted. It is very draining to listen to them.
That was a great post. I have quite a few "lemons" in my life right now. Trying every day to be the positive person that I am and see the positive in any given situation is hard when people or coworkers only talk about the negative. I think it truly is "draining" to sit there and try to remain positive with a person like that!! I have really tried to avoid the coworkers that seem to have that outlook on their careers. This business is truly what YOU make of it. If you have a lemon attitude...you will NOT succeed. And that is my exact line when anyone (seems like everyone lately) says to me "how is it going in this terrible market"....I was trained by a major brokerage and that is what they always told me to say...It is great!!! Sometimes it is not...but I would never allow anyone to know that! I am busy now...have had 2 settlements in less than 30 days and have a few prospective leads with buyers and sellers that I am following up on this week and am hopeful they will allow me to service them. I have already had a lead from Active Rain. I have only been really studying up on this site and MAKING the time every day to learn how to utilize it to its maximum potential. I am excited everyday to do couple hours more of research on the site and put what I learn to my blog and posts. I am very positive about the outcome Active Rain will have for my business!!! Lemonade to all the lemons out there. That is a quote I actually use alot on some of you posts on other sites...love it !! Thanks for your post again!!!!!
Hi Jason ... Upon reading your post, I realize that I have no friends who are Teds and that I do not work with any Teds. It's probably one of the few times in my life that I can say this. This would be a happy realization if it weren't for the fact that I live with Teds ... I was spawned by Teds, have a Ted sibling and married a Ted. Perhaps I should write a post entitled "My life with Teds."
Yes I know a couple of Teds and Tedinas, and you know its funny because the more negative they get and the media the better off I get. This is going to be a great year for me and business is booming.
Today is a beautiful NO-TED day! I know, they're everywhere, walking and talking and in the news, on the TV and radio and so on. Who cares? Today I'm presenting a counter-offer, taking and offer, presenting an offer, taking another offer and then taking a listing! Yes, it is all true, all in one day!!! A TED attitude gives you lots of TEDS. Kick him to the curb! My mobile home business is flourishing :-)))
If i listened to every Ted that came along, I would have got out of this business a week after I started. i try to think of the positives- I accomplish more that way.
Too funny! I try to avoid 'Teds' like the plague. Energy suckers is what they are.
Jason: Ted must be the person SNL molded their Debbie Downer sketch after. My husband tends toward the negative, and I am the total opposite. He relies on me to bring him up, so on the rare ocassions that he pulls me under, he immediately says, "You're supposed to be the optimistic one!" It certainly is exhausting to deal with negative people.
Jason, are you being hi-jacked?!? speaking about TED, well that is one thing. The no signature mis-speller however is way off subject. Yea, I could read it but that is not the point. Point? :-)))